A fork of Rural Dictionary
A town north of Boston, Massachusetts. Pretentious rich yuppies and their pretentious rich children. If you look hard enough there are some down-to-earthers. Extremely liberal. Lots of druggies. Opioids and heroin common. Public schools are good but overcrowded; the middle school doesn't have air conditioning. Summer = rich, tan, blond people walking their Golden Retriever Tucker, hanging out on a Grady White, or taking stereotypical white girl pics at Devereaux Beach (it's trash, go to Wingaersheek). Winter = rich, Canada Goose-clad people walking their Golden Retriever Tucker, skiing at Sunday River/Sugarbush, or buying bread and milk for the next nor'easter. There are parents jogging around 25/8 as if they don't have jobs. Teens are judgy and privileged. Anyone who does not own Lululemon, Vineyard Vines or Canada Goose is frowned upon. Typical Marblehead family includes father named Mike: lawyer, 6'0". Mother named Sarah: real estate agent, 5'7", dyed blonde hair. Daughter named Grace: 16, dirty-blond hair, wears Lululemon yoga pants 25/8. Son named Jackson: 12, pairs Nike sneakers with khakis, plays Fortnite. Dog named Tucker: Golden Retriever/Doodle, gets a bath every 4 days because Sarah is a neat freak. Drivers are horrendous and are constantly texting or calling. Common cars: Gray Honda Pilot, black Acura MDX, white/gray/black/navy Mercedes GLC, white/black/navy/red Suburban. Sports include football, basketball, lacrosse, field hockey, skiing, sailing, and golf.
Kid 1: "Hey, wanna walk around downtown Marblehead?"
Kid 2: "Sure, as long as we don't get hit by the amazingly bad drivers or get pushed off the nonexistent sidewalks by a cranky jogger."
Kid 1: "You know what, let's stay home and play Fortnite."