A fork of Rural Dictionary
A state of being created by a benevolent deity in order that man may experience the twin pleasures of beer and sex. Although it has been postulated that team sports and a good testicle-scratch constitute two of the pillars of life, the true meaning is in fact just beer and sex. Be advised, however, that it is not simply a matter of drinking as much beer and having as much sex as you can; these actions alone lead to spiritual imbalance and sundry unwholesome disorders of the body. The quality of the beer and the awesome-ness of the sex matter every bit as much as the acts themselves. Well it behooves you then to master the zen of a life of beer and sex. Be aware that many people never fully comprehend the simple purity of the way, as they stagger from one meaningless relationship to another, often sinking into a debased state in which wine, exotic cheeses, opera, and other devices of Satan are appreciated. What then, you ask, is the true path to righteousnous? What should man aspire to in life? The tao of beer and sex is explicit about this. Drink ye of good quality beer, that it's amber goodness may invigorate and pleasure you, and strive towards a relationship with a pair of bi-sexual women. Bi-sexual twins are the real jackpot, of course, and any man attaining this nirvana of relationships will be pointed out in the street and viewed with an almost religious awe by other men. In summary then, remember that the key to solving all of life's varied problems lies in the bottom of a glass, or looks smashing in a skimpy black evening dress.
Person 1: I feel lost and hopeless, adrift in a sea of depression.
Priest: Oh for goodness' sake, be a man. Find yourself a babelicious chick, get smashed, and do her and her sister.
Person 1: Wow! It's all so clear now...
Female: My Mum said that life is a bowl of roses.
Male : Your mother is an idiot. Now get naked and fetch me a beer...
A kind of legitimised "pick-an-asshole" competition held in certain countries that have democratic tendencies. In this "election", a bunch of worthless bastards who wouldn't know a moral if it kicked them in the nuts and danced around them singing "I'm a moral", lie through their teeth and kiss babies in an effort to suck at the public teat for another 3-4 years. Elections are characterised by weasels sticking their faces in front of cameras on a daily basis, a media frenzy that resembles dropping a steak into a piranha tank, and chronic voter nausea as they are forced to decide yet again between a potential disaster and a proven failure. Luckily, watching elections hasn't made me bitter about them...
Person 1: Dude, did you watch the election coverage?
Person 2: No, I thought it would save time if I just sat on a stool and repeatedly hit my dick with a metal ruler.
Person A: Hey, I really think that that candidate is going to represent the people and make an important difference in how the country is run.
Person B: Nurse! Up this man's medication at once! He's delusional.
Person 3: Hey, I'm thinking of running for election.
Person 4: Fuck off and die, leech scum!
A combination of the words "babe" and "delicious", where "babe" refers to a very attractive woman, and "delicious" refers to the fact that you'd be onto her like a lion onto a prairie dog if she gave you the slightest encouragement. Things that are babelicious include supermodels, certain singers/actresses (if you're thinking Britney or Madonna here go and wash your mind out with soap), any female gymnast/contortionist over the age of 18, and that chick I walked past on the street on my way into work this morning.
Person 1: Man, check out that babelicious chick over there. Talk about hot!
Person A: Dude, the chicks on the pron site that I was surfing last night were totally babelicious.
Person B: Send me the url, dude; I need a good pron fix.
The grip you have when you grab some guy by the testicles, hence having a "handful of nuts". Agonising for men, it is a source of endless amusement for onlookers and passers-by. Another form of this term is "going the squirrel", which means that someone is attempting to grab someone else in a squirrel grip.
Person 1: This guy picked a fight with me the other day, but I got him in the "squirrel grip" and he sure changed his tune quickly.
Person A: This guy attacked Sophie in a dark alley, so she "went the squirrel" on him and escaped. Poor bastard'll be singing high-C from now on.
To have had sex with someone. There are two connotations associated with this term; the first implies that the person with whom you had sex was cheap and/or easy, the second that the relationship was totally casual with no strings attached. In both cases it is understood that there was little or no emotional attachment or respect involved, and that the sex was hard and intense.
See also: bang
First Guy: Mate, did you see that chick I was with last night? Turned out she was pretty easy, so I took her home and banged her like a cheap gong!
Second Guy: You lucky, lucky bastard.
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Guy 1: Mate, see that chick over there? Talk about hot! I'd bang her like a cheap gong!
Guy 2: Dude, she's a hag. WTF have you been drinking?
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Male 1: Lucy was pretty drunk last night when I left the party.
Male 2: You're telling me! She was so hammered that she said she wanted sex, so I banged her like a cheap gong.
The really annoying unconscious twitching of the eyelid of either one or both eyes caused by heavy fatigue. It is not a painful condition, but the twitching does become very annoying over time. The only cure is regular deep sleep over a number of days. Called gamer's eye because so many gamers experience it after spending day after day sitting up until 2am playing Counter-Strike (or WOW, or some other game), then getting up at the usual time to attend work/school/college/etc.
Person 1: Man, I've been playing Counter-Strike for three days straight and now I've got the worst case of gamer's eye. Look closely, can you see my eyelid twitching?
Person 2: You are such a geek. You should switch to World of Warcraft; it kicks CS's ass!
Person 3: Dude, you know I can't play WOW; I'm heterosexual!
Basically, a term by which insecure freaks describe various other people, as a way of explaining depression and anxiety caused by their own insecurities. Characteristics of people prone to identify psychic vampires are:
1. Goths and other freakish ass-clowns who dress in black and think that writing bad poetry makes them "deep".
2. Insecure manic depressives who think that they couldn't possibly be depressed because they are worthless gits, therefore it must be those pesky "psychic vampires" again.
Person 1: Hey that guy is a real psychic vampire. I always feel drained and depressed when I'm around him.
Person 2: Perhaps it's time you got a life and stopped being a self-obsessed ass-goblin.
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Person 1: Help! The guy with me is a real psychic vampire!
Person 2: Hey, I didn't know you'd become a goth.
Person 1: Sure. Would you like to hear some bad poetry?