Country Dictionary

A fork of Rural Dictionary

gayer than a bag of penises

Uber-gay. So gay your testosterone level drops just looking at it. Note that this phrase can be used to describe anything, either human or object, that is very gay-looking.

Person 1: So, what do you think of my new shirt?
Person 2: Nice colours. It's gayer than a bag of penises, dude.

Person A: Have you met the new guy? What's he like.
Person B: Pretty fruity, mate. He's gayer than a bag of penises.

by Big Bad Mark February 03, 2006

voting

In an election, the process whereby elegible citizens submit their choice for the person/party who gets to exploit them for the next 3-4years. People will often get wildly enthusiastic about which dishonest piece of crap they're going to "vote" for this time around, completely forgetting their previous experiences with politicians, which resembled nothing so much as being simultaneously mugged, insulted and assraped. If voting could change things, it would be illegal.

Person 1: Dude, are you voting today?
Person 2: No, this time around I thought I'd just save time and ask a Hell's Angel to beat me up and rob me.

Candidate: And will you be voting for me today, sir?
Voter : Why yes I am! Here, let me bend over this chair so that you can more conveniently assrape me...

by Big Bad Mark October 25, 2005

Lesbian

Basically, women who are attracted to women in a sexual way. Lesbians can be broken into two groups, the "good" type of lesbian, and the "bad" type of lesbian. The two groups are defined as follows:

1. The "good" sort of lesbians are the cute ones featured on websites around the world. Well-groomed and babelicious, these lesbians look fantastic smeared in baby oil, jelly, cream, etc, and don't view men as exploitative bastards who should all be castrated and then choked to death with their severed naughty bits.

2. The "bad" sort of lesbian, i.e. any chick who likes her vice versa and isn't prepared to put on some sort of floor show for the lads. Included in this group are the lesbians who would do a floor show if asked, but are never asked to do so because most guys don't want their eyeballs seared out of their heads by the sight of something resembling Jabba the Hut raping a walrus. Also belonging to this group is your average university feminist who is a lesbian not so much because she is attracted to women, but rather because she's so fucked up that she thinks that all men are just vicious animals who would rape you as soon as look at you. This group tend to have crew cuts and huge Doc Martin boots, and usually belong to some feminist/socialist/fruitcake organisation(s).

Person A: Man, I saw the cutest lesbian chicks on suicidegirls.com last night. They were the goods!
Person B: Better than the ones I saw in the bar last night. Man, I was feeling really intimidated until some Japanese guy harpooned them and dragged them outside.

Lesbian 1: Hey, let's do the decent thing and put on a floor show for those guys over there.
Lesbian 2: But we aren't very attractive...
Lesbian 1: That doesn't matter, I just want the attention.
Watching Guy: Argggghhhh! My eyes! My eyes!

Chick: Men are just sexist, exploitative pigs who have spent recorded history suppressing women.
Guy : I didn't know you were a lesbian.
Chick: That's because you're an insensitive asshole!
Guy : Any chance of a floor show?

by Big Bad Mark February 20, 2006