A fork of Rural Dictionary
the proprietory brand of paper handerchiefs found under the bed of a wanker ready for any nocturnal emissions to avoid the need to zoffle. individually wrapped in packets of 3 (Weekend Wankies) 7 (Weekly Wankies) and 25 (Cant Get a Girlfriend Wankies). Wankies are normally bought by men with extremely well developed biceps, poor eyesight and an unhealthy interest in librarys. NB Please note the health warning on the Wankies packet emphasising the need to dispose of used Wankies before the splooge genetically mutates and engulfs an area the size of New Mexico
" I can't wait for the weekend, I've got my bongomags, a tub of vaseline and enough Wankies to clog up the Potomac River"
term of endearment. an act of worship of the object of your desire. being prepared to do anything to make that person happy
"i love Gill so much I'd suck the farts right out of her arse"
the white/yellow cheesy smelling smeg found under the foreskin of a hygienically challenged individual.
"whats that minging smell?" "oh, that's just Dave, he's been churning out a good load of bellend cheddar"
Formerly a Vauxhall Cavalier car but now any form of motor vehicle driven by chavs. Usually fitted with at least one fart pipe and sporting several months of social security payments worth of speakers (and about 10 times more than the car cost) to play hip hop gangsta rap that the occupants can't actually understand a word of. The Chavalier is normally driven with such laws of physics challenging acceleration/retardation that on stopping the car the townies inside continue to rock their heads back and forth like tortoises on speed.
"i say, what on earth is that awful sound?" "chill out, bro, Nige just gotta new set of bins in his Chavalier"
a cunning brokeback mountaineer. a lifter of other gentlemens shirts. arse bandit. turd burglars sneak around at the dead of night, particularly in college dorms, etc, looking for drunken/incapacitated victims they can bottybash.
"what was Roger doing round the YMCA last night?" "didn't you know, he's a turd burglar..."