A fork of Rural Dictionary
An extremely irritating dwarf who is addicted to acne remedies and wanking to ABBA songs.
What do you call a deformed midget who cracks one off to "Dancing Queen"? Little Briggsy? You got it, Squire.
A variety of spanking indulged in by arty types. The spankee coats his arse with oil paints of many colours and bends over a sculpture of Shakespeare. The spanker then larrups the spankees paint-smeared buttocks with a palette or rolled-up canvas. The gleeful yelpings of the spankees are often recorded and sold in art shops as "Sounds to inspire you".
That fellow with the easel has quite a limp. Aubrey. Yes. I think you'll find he's been the spankee in some Briggsy spanking.
Going to the pub during your work lunch-break and consuming a meat pie and at least four pints of beer. The effect is doubled if the person doing a Searby has grey curly hair.
Oi, Dave. Are you going to the canteen for lunch? No, I'm doing a Searby.
A specialised form of frotteurism which is performed in art galleries during a busy exhibition. The Feldman frotteur will then scrape his secretions from his y-fronts and add them to his paints. Usually done by aging yellow-haired ex-hippies.
So why were you put on the sex offenders' register? I was caught committing Feldman frotteurism.
A television series shown on Channel 4. Loosely based on Hell's Kitchen it features the famous artist Briggsy as head chef. The contestants have to impress Briggsy by cooking meals using their own jizz. Briggsy tests all the dishes whilst playing with his little scabby cock. He awards points for taste and presentation. The winner is permitted to fellate Briggsy in Tate Modern whilst hundreds of onlookers cheer and shout arty slogans.
Are you off to Tate Modern, Quentin? Certainly am, Benjy. The winner of Briggsy's Kitchen is receiving his prize this afternoon.
A variety of dogging popular in arty circles. Instead of using cars the homosexual participants arrive on penny-farthings and bugger each other senseless.
Oi queer boy. Why the big bike. Oh, I'm off for a bit of Briggsy dogging in Clumber Park.
The act of trawling arty pubs for munters. The artist will chat up the munter then take her back to his place for deviant sex. In most cases the munter weighs well over 250 pounds.
What are you up to tonight, art boy? Me? I'm off to Pastel for some Briggsymunting.