A fork of Rural Dictionary
An email message sent to your circle of friends at work after the discovery of brown matter that didn't quite make it into the toilet bowl.
TURD ALERT … TURD ALERT … TURD ALERT
Alert Level: brown
Location: first stall, ladies room
Status: uncomfirmed (sorry, even with contacts I can’t identify suspect 100%)
MO: inconspicuously positioned to the left side of porcelain goddess; proceed with caution, and avoid stall numero uno at all costs
Any series of physical exercises designed to squeeze one’s arse into a pair of pantyhose, snug jeans, and such.
I almost collapsed from exhaustion and dehydration after a grueling session of elastics gymnastics with a pair of tights.