A fork of Rural Dictionary
Telling your girlfriend you'll never cheat on her.
"Oh, sure; your roommate is adorable... but. Honey, I never drive faster than I can see."
If you have to explain it; it's not that funny.
I'm not going to tell you why Sam is like a broken stoplight. Explanation is joke murder.
Par for the course. When something outrageous happens and a blase attitude is adopted in the face of it.
"I went out to the car to find I have two flat tires. Just another Tuesday."
You rock, no one is saying different.
"Oh my God, you were amazing. Do it again; just like last night, only better."
When somebody does something unforgivable and irredeemable.
"Goddammit! You slept with my sister, man! Kurtzman, give me my guitar back!"
The old days, when this was your biggest problem.
"Man, I can't deal with any of this! Remember when our biggest problem was where the candy aisle was in a grocery store? CAN YOU TELL ME WHERE'S THE CANDY?"
Said ruefully when no one gets the joke.
No one understands that Shakespeare is just Edwardian Cinemax? Well, I'm a writer.