Country Dictionary

A fork of Rural Dictionary

American Joke

American Jokes are jokes which are not made in America. Yet, these jokes can be made in America, but apart from America, they can also be made in China, Hong Kong SAR, Indonesia, Ethiopia, North Pole, Mars, Venus, Jupiter, the Sun...... wherever place you can think of which allow people to live. American Jokes are simply abbreviated as "AJ", which, obviously, comes from its original name American Joke.

So how did American Jokes become jokes? Once upon a time, there was a place named Quality College where students were capable of making very bad jokes. Those jokes are definitely totally utterly not funny at all, but students just loved making those cold jokes. One day, someone suddenly gave these bad jokes a name, AMERICAN JOKE.

It was rumoured that the term American Joke was invented by a student named "Sir iohC niwdE". Such a term was efficiently spread away by another fellow "A ginM", "maL noraA", "eeL ynneB" and "nhoJ osT". They are the founders of the "American Joke Society" (abbr. AJs), which is one of the biggest AJ as well.

Recently, the rumour was proved to be false. Yet, the rumour still remains to be one of the top AJ recently.

That is why these jokes are called American Jokes nowadays. But in fact no one can really explain how America is connected to those Jokes, or since when has American become a joke. Anyway, the name itself demonstrates the true meaning of the American Joke. It is that, a joke which is expected to be a joke, a joke which is formally a joke, a joke which is supposed to make others laugh, but at the end not being so "joky" as expected at all. Do you find the term American Joke a joke?

However, as students were becoming lazier and lazier, they eventually found the term American Joke too clumsy to pronunce. Instead, they gave this term another shorter version: simply known as AJ. Due to the simplicity of such a term and its effectiveness in preventing people from producing endless meaningless non-interesting yet troublesome dead-airing cold jokes, it was quickly spread among the community that nowadays every one knows about "AJ".

Here are some practical daily examples of American Joke:

1. "American Jokes are good jokes."

2. "Fine, thank you."

"You too."
"You three."
"You four five six seven eight......"

3. "Today I accidentally crashed into John and BJ."

"Oh really? Does it hurt?"

4. "John, congratulations for winning the champion. You are now the Macau Shooting Star!"

"Macau Shooting Star? Does that mean I can shoot stars in Macau? How do I shoot them?"

5. "BJ who is a DJ loves AJ."

There are too many examples to be named. Please be kind to add in your own version of American Jokes and they better are your own creations. The world of American Jokes should not contain any boundary.

by kodiac1 July 04, 2006

WebSense

It has been known that rogue states but also companies and universities put restrictions to the Internet usage. These restrictions are so aggressive and perverse that the Internet experience of the end-user is completely compromised.

WebSense comes to the rescue by providing stealth anonymity to the masses, allowing them to browse the Internet without restrictions. Due to this, WebSense is severely unpopular in specific non-secural countries; merely having WebSense software installed on your computer may land you in jail for two years.

WebSense offers anonymous secure proxy servers that end-users can connect to. Once such a server is blocked, WebSense activates a new one and informs the users through encrypted e-mail to switch to it.

There is currently work carried out to integrate WebSense with the Onion Routing project in order to offer protection against traffic analysis.

WebSense is resilient to differential analysis attacks thanks to patented technologies being employed.

"You can't touch this."

~ MC Hammer on accessing an illegal webpage using WebSense.

by kodiac1 July 09, 2006

Warren Buffet

Warren Buffet, generally acknowledged as the second richest man in the United States Of America, (after Ryan Seacrest), is the inventor of the all-you-can-eat restaurant concept. Back in the old days--before 1942--this was unheard of, but Buffet perservered through thick and thin and perfected the idea. Today, many restaurants actually use his name when referring to their unlimited offerings.

Buffet thought of the idea while touring India and seeing starving people. "What would make these folks feel really, really bad?" he pondered. The solution was letting them know that people in America can sit down and eat themselves to death anytime they want. "That'll put them Injuns in their place," Buffet stated, not realizing that Indians in India aren't the same ones that go "Woo-Woo" and live in teepees.

a bell and having a servant come over. After he graduated from boarding school and college, he was shocked that the world didn't actually work this way. He joined with his friend and lover Oscar Wilde and deciding to do something about ridding the world of poverty and hunger.

His plan was to simply kill off all the poor and hungry people. Fortunately for them, Buffet checked with his family attorney who advised him against it. "What a terrible police state we live in," Buffet was heard to say when he was told he couldn't simply get rid of lazy, poor, or otherwise useless people.

The Discovery of All You Can Eat

In 1955, Buffet has an epiphany. After he went to the doctor and got that fixed, he started working full-time on his "all you can eat" concept. The idea was simple: charge people a fixed price in advance then sit them down in a huge room with steam tables full of barely-good-enough food.

To make it more profitable, Buffet made the more inexpensive food of better quality than the more expensive offerings, to discourage people from eating too much shrimp and lobster.

Richest Man in the World

Today, every time someone eats in an eponymous "buffet", Warren Buffet makes $0.25. This has made them the richest man in the world. His company, Berkshire Crapaway, has a stock price per share of over US $1Million, making it the most expensive stock on the American Exchange. Buffet personally holds 55% of Berkshire Crapaway's stock.

Unlimited shrimp cocktail! Now there's a concept. ”

~ Oscar Wilde on Warren Buffet

by kodiac1 July 06, 2006

Sissy

Sissies are those sensitive people. They won’t eat meat and they cry all the time. Context is for them.
The relationship between sissies and emos is as follows:
sissies = emo
The evidence is compelling.
If you see a sissy, you should beat the crap out of them. It’s good for them. It makes them tough.

Actually it doesn’t, but it’s really funny to listen to them squeal.

If they try to talk to you, cut them off with a firm, "shut up." If they persist, punch them.

It’s a well-known fact that a good knee-to-the-groin will dissuade even the most clingy of sissies.

One of the best insults in existence was derived from the annoying qualities of sissies. It goes as follows:

"____ is for sissies!"

Brilliance.

Sissy.

by Kodiac1 December 09, 2006

Adjective-Space

Adjective-Space is derived from applying the natural progression of physics to the real world. Physics progresses by reducing the number of independent dimensions of the theoretical world into a manageable number of meaningful orthenormal vectors. Physicist have succeeded in removing all meaning from their field of study fairly recently when the last three dimensions collapsed into each other, Mass, distance and time. Adjective theorists wish to apply this same idea to adjective space, they attempt to find ways to reduce the total number of adjectives used. An example of this would be Color-Space. Recently Adjective theorists have managed to reduce the number of colors into three (Red, Green and Blue) Thus making other adjectives totally unnecessary. Purple is no longer needed, one red and one blue create purple. This is a rather simplistic example, an example of one of the more troubling adjectives is moist. Moist can clearly be described as a vector with the dimensions sticky and damp. The problem is that no one can agree on exactly the amount of sticky and damp needed to create one moist.

There has been much contention over the existence of Adjective-Space. The main competition is Poetry Theorists who believe that reducing the number of adjective dimensions in Adjective-Space reduces the utility of the space. The most famous of the anti-Adjective theory books was 1984.

Adjective-Space... Do I really need an example?

by kodiac1 July 05, 2006

NASA

NASA originally stood for the "National Anal Sex Association". Now NASA stands for the "Nutty Assholes in Space Authority", having changed its focus from bedrooms to the sky. They're still fuckin' anal, though!

NASA was really created as an attempt to fool people into thinking America reached Venus (as Europe did first). It failed to live up to the expectations of NACA.

by kodiac1 July 11, 2006

Flange

A flange is a metalic flan or quiche which forms the staple food for robots. Although robots do also enjoy snacking on staples, staples are not the staple food.

The first flange was baked in 1736 (that's just after 25 minutes to six) by Mrs Helen Highwater of Wales. This original flange was cooked to a prehistoric Italian recipe, using a simple combination of copper and iron. Today, the copper and iron flange is called Flange Lorraine or Flance Margharitta, both of which mean "plain and boring, somewhat tasteless, but nevertheless cheap and therefore relatively good value for money flange".

Mrs Highwater fed the original flange to her favourite robotic sheep, LLangchgoch-
gowbylloflen-
ogocgochgoch-
llanllanlllan. The sheep, together with the remains of the flange, can be seen in the International Museum of Flanges in the United States city of Baghdad.

The development of the flange was slow at first, until the Great Staple Crisis of 1987, which led to the establishment of the LLangochgochllogowbyllof
llenogochgochgochllanl
lanllllllllan Flange Export Company. The flange was simultaneously patented by Microsoft, Apple computer, Wikimedia, Mozilla and Coca Cola in the USA, but in the rest of the world is manufacturered solely by anyone.

flange =D... =)... =|...

by kodiac1 July 06, 2006