A fork of Rural Dictionary
Slang abbreviation of the fungal disease 'Scrophulareaceae Rot' Although this invigorating fungi is primarily to be found growing on plants within the Scrophulareaceae family; it can also commonly be observed (under magnification) on Woolly bush (Adenanthos serecieus) and on the hirsute gonad pouch of the lesser brained Random bogan
Bogan1: "Tafe was so luke warm today; it is a good thing I had the scrot rot to keep me company" Bogan2 (bogan in denial of being a bogan): You are such a Bogan Dude1: "Dude, I have to tell you something; I dont think you are going to be krossd about it" Dude2: "Dude, you know you can tell me anything dude. You're like my brother from another mother, dude" Dude1: Well since you brought that up. I caught the scrot rot from you mums hot knickers dude; I'm sorry dude, but Im so scared, please hold me dude" Dude2: Fuck off you Random bogan mother fucker Dude1: Fair enough dude In all seriousness folks, we have to inform you that the risk of contracting 'Scrot rot' in todays world of automobiles, double ended purple dildo bongs and other such fancy stuff is all too real. We must protect ourselves; we must preserve our way of life for the good of humanity; for the survival of the earth herself. Please; if you care you can help, you can make a real difference – it will only take half an hour or so a week out of your busy life, and it is both satisfying and easy to do. Take the time to shave or wax your 'fun zone' - it is the only way we can contain this epidemic and save countless souls the undeniable agony of itchy nuts. Thankyou for your consideration of this matter. This community service announcement was generously brought to you by the guys n’ gals down at: Be a better Bogan inc. Bobs dildo shop “From big to small, we shall fill them all” And Lionels house of Mirkin “mmm… Lionels”
Choice is something we all have While many choices are hard; decisions still need to be made
Some choices you may like to consider: 1. We have the choice to make our own choices. 2. We have the choice to be honest with ourselves. 3. We have the choice to be a bogan if we so wish; we also have the choice to be a better bogan. 4. We have the choice to forget and to remember. 5. We have the choice to care or not to care. 6. We have the choice to be ourselves or to hide from ourselves. 7. We have the choice to trust and to have faith; we have the choice to be too scared. 8. We have the choice to change our minds if we so wish; we also have the choice to change them back. 9. We have the choice to do the right thing by ourselves and others; this should not need to be a choice. 10. We have the choice to grow or to hold ourselves back. 11. We have the choice to be strong (assistance may be required) 12. We have the choice to listen to the universe as we have the choice to be only normal. 13. We have the choice to follow the rules or to think for ourselves. 14. We have the choice to listen and to be listened to. 15. We have the choice to be respected even if we are not used to it. 16. We have the choice to lie or to be honest (refer: point 1) - caution: the choice to lie, as with all other choices has consequences including (but not limited to): Damage to the heart, mind and soul of yourself and those who truly care for you. There is not always a choice: We do not choose to fall in love; it just happens. Love is not found at the pub (Scrot-rot and Random Bogans are) True love is not something you look for, pursue or find; it finds you. Love is all, there is nothing else.
Abstaining from sexual activities for whatever reason Cliff Richard is a member of the Church of Cliff Richard (I have my own doubts on the validity of his claim though)
There are a wide variety of circumstances/choices that may qualify one for induction into the Church of Cliff Richard. These include but are certainly not limited to: 1. Lack of interest 2. Lack of opportunity 3. Lack of effort 4. Lack of time 5. Lack of intelligence 6. Lack of self esteem/self worth/meaning/ego/gerbils/etc 7. Lack of puberty 8. Lack of appendages (apologies to those lacking appendages. Second hand hardly used or virgin appendages can be purchased at the gift shop of your local ‘Cliff’ – most of these have been repeatedly polished to perfection by experts in their field) 9. Physically unattractive to that which you are attracted to. 10. Emotionally unattractive to that which you are attracted to. 11. Morally unattractive to that which you are attracted to. (not necessarily a bad thing if they are evil n’ stuff, Bogans,) 12. Financially unattractive to that which you are attracted to. 13. Painful history/ poor choice in previous co-pilots on the airship of love Excerpt from ‘The big book of Cliff – Chapter 11 The toe of the camel, verse 8: And Cliffs half-brother Ralph’s next door neighbour’s grand daughter’s friend’s uncle did sayeth: “I do believe there is at least one soul mate out there for everyone. But there are approximately 6,869,575,369 (Six Billion, eight hundred and sixty nine million, five hundred and seventy five thousand, three hundred and sixty nine) people on this planet (most of them Bogans – that is a truck load of Bogans) at the moment; give up now, more chance of winning the lottery than finding true love. There is also the possibility that your soul mate could be born on the day that you die at the ripe old age of 267 after an extremely long, lonely, boring and meaningless life; that would kind of suck, but on the bright side you would be dead so you wouldn’t know anyway ” Go Cliff, its ya birfday …on Monday 14/10/1940 Hmm… “Monday’s child is fair of face” – too true, Cliff always did have very nice facial skin – very tanned for a Pom, very tanned indeed. Luke Warm is a proud (refer: tool) member of the Church of Cliff Richard While this is not a philosophy that I preach in the streets; it is who I am and is very important to me (refer: tool). Anything or anyone that has an issue with my beliefs is more than welcome to do whatever they wish as long as it does not involve turning me on in anyway. You have been warned, I will most likely explode …and then some from any external stimuli regardless of whether it be emotional or physical. Remember kids… “It is indeed rad and hot to be Cliff You cannot get hurt if you do not have feelings. Close your heart and your soul, limit your mind; be one with nothing.” Saturday 20/12/2008
1. Something that is used to assist with the modification of an object or situation. 2. Something that is used to create or destroy. 3. Slang synonym for the males sexual reproduction whatsit. 4. Someone who does seemingly silly things; often used as a term of endearment, but not always!
I am a tool because I have been used to: Improve someones ego; Distract them from the mediocrity of their own existance; Make someone else jealous; To improve someones elses relationship (how bizarre); To get them a valentines day present (this year) For love. For happiness. For laughter. To do everything for them, and in return: To accept all of the guilt. To hold all of the pain. To take all of the blame. (It was never a game). A good tradesman respects his tools!! A Hammer is a tool both used to create and to destroy. My penis is a somewhat rusty tool I must admit (only from lack of use!!). I hit my penis with a hammer while making pancakes (as you do) That sure modified the fuck out of both the objects involved and the situation: I created a lot of pain I destroyed the pancake batter (all over the floor), and my willy - must admit i chipped a bit off of the hammer handle too!! I hit my tool with a tool; I am such a tool I do not regret being a tool - my penis however has a somewhat different (slanted) view on the subject Sunday 02/11/2008
An expression used to convey various reactions to events. ‘What the fuck?’ may be used in an attempt to explain any one or combination of the reactions/emotions listed below and then some. A: Confusion B: Incredulous confusion C: Surprise D: Disappointment E: Hurt F: Anger G: Ironically
‘What the fuck?’ Is rarely used as a positive statement; however it may be used ironically to convey such is life (refer ex G) *Note: The ‘McDonalds’ referred to in the following examples is not the all too familiar icon of western civilisation that sells a wide variety of meal choices at prices that are reasonable to the consumer. The use of the name ‘McDonalds’ is pure coincidence; the name (as applied to the examples below) was randomly generated using a super-dooper computer. A: Confusion I was walking past McDonalds the other day; it smelt disgusting. So I was like “What the fuck? Why would you want to eat that?” B: Incredulous confusion “What the fuck? All of the people driving into McDonalds look like cheeseburgers!! C: Surprise “What the fuck Tracey; is that your mother working at McDonalds in her hot knickers making cheeseburgers? D: Disappointment “What the fuck is the world coming to when people are willing to eat greasy cheesys from McDonalds? E: Hurt Oh God, what the fuck? How could you eat that cheeseburger from McDonalds? Can’t you see how much anguish and sorrow it causes me to watch you stuff that disgusting in every way symbol of everything that is wrong with the world into your mouth and watch the grease drip down from your lips over your chins, one after another. At the very least it hurts my stomach; what with all the vomiting induced just by the thought of McDonalds cheeseburger consumption by the average overweight western society individual who has little concern for where the produce comes from, the conditions of those involved, the environmental ramifications of fast food production, the nippl… <rant maximum allowable length reached> F: Anger What the fuck? You fuckin’ barstool There is a maximum length for rants? I didn’t know that; it makes me very angry, oh yes indeed Fuckin McDonalds cheeseburgers G: Ironically What the fuck kind of a word is ironical; I guess it would have been too much to ask to have a decent name for ironical. It’s a stupid moronical word *$$* This entire rant (and all sub-rants etc contained within) has not been endorsed by the wonderful people at the greatest corporation in the whole universe – McDonalds *$$* mmm… Subway Sunday 09/11/2008
An expression used to convey various reactions to events. ‘What the fuck?’ may be used in an attempt to explain any one or combination of the reactions/emotions listed below and then some. A: Confusion B: Incredulous confusion C: Surprise D: Disappointment E: Hurt F: Anger G: Ironically
‘What the fuck?’ Is rarely used as a positive statement; however it may be used ironically to convey such is life (refer ex G) A: Confusion Why would someone use someone else who is in love with them? B: Incredulous confusion How could you use me to make him jealous?, to get yourself a valentines day present?, to add some excitement to your life?, to distract you?, to improve your ego?, to do most of your study?, to improve your sex life? C: Surprise It is a surprise to me that people can even think that way, can lie so much even to themselves, can take pleasure from causing others pain, can actually be proud of themselves for being a total arsehole D: Disappointment It disappoints me that even now you cannot tell the truth; that you can forget so much so easily; that it was all a lie, all just a game to you E: Hurt Guess what? – when you think you can feel no more pain, there is always more. To be lied to and used by someone that you have given yourself to is more hurt than anyone should have to feel F: Anger I am angry at myself for being a tool; I sometimes feel anger towards Tracey for being a bogan G: Ironically Everything I do even now, benefits you in your little game and hurts me even more. Every chance I give you just allows you to tell more lies; I am sick of Tracey time. I will talk to him, the truth will by known one way or the other. This is between us three; if he will not speak to me, I will speak to others. I have given more than enough opportunities for the truth to be told. This cannot continue. You will always be a Victorian Tuesday 11/11/2008
A term used to describe what everyone should do. whether it be your own or someone elses: we must all 'Love the Cock' - you know its true (would I lie to you?)
Oh my god I love the cock, gimme more She does not love the cock enough mmm... cock