Country Dictionary

Imagine this senario: You assertively walk into another room, you are focused, you have a purpose. People stop and stare because they can see you are not taking silver; small animals scurry with fervour away from your approaching footsteps; the clock ticks one last time.... You enter the room, you have reached your destination, the treasure is almost within your grasp; you can almost taste it, you want it oh so bad. But then... You have absolutely no idea what you were looking for or why you got off of your hot arse in the first place. You retrace your steps; try ever so hard to remember what you were even doing, and just keep drawing blanks. You have just experienced 'The Wanders'

Sandy: What are you looking for Bella? Bella: Huh? Sandy: Fair enough Bella: Sorry boganface, just got the wanders Sandy: It happens; maybe if you smoke a few Jades you will remember what the fuck you were looking for Bella: Nah, i got it now; have you seen my lilac dolphin dildo? Sandy: Ummm... yeah, Im keeping it warm for you Bella: You are a sick fuck Sandy; definately time for treasure now

All that is left when there is no love

I am nothing; there is nothing; nothing means anything without you. What else have i thought of all year: Nothing What else interests me anymore: Nothing What used to have meaning, now means: Nothing What do i have to look forward to now that you have made me completely random: Nothing but pain and emptiness. There is nothing but love Its up your bum, cant you feel it?

All that is left when there are no answers

These are some examples of questions: What did I do wrong? What didn’t I do right? How can you not trust me? How can you not love me when my love for you is everything? How can you let it fade away? I’m up your bum, cant you feel it? Why do you let yourself be held back? Why didn’t you leave Tracey in Victoria; she is a Bogan & a crack ho ? How can you forget feelings? How can you say I read too much into things and still accuse me twice of 'psychic harassment'? Why do you lie to me? Why do you feel the need to lie to me? How can you make a decision not to love someone? How can you stand being so fucking hot? How do you expect me to be hard when I cant tell you I love you while Im making love with you; i dont get to hold you afterwards and you're not even going to like me the next week? How could I ever love again? How could I do that to myself or to anyone else again? Why would I tell you I’m in love with you if I didn’t mean it? Why don’t you understand that falling in love with someone when you are not looking for it and you already think you are in love makes it even more real? Why does your pussy fit my face so well? (well it does, I’m just saying) Why do you always lie? Why aren’t you here with me right now? Thursday 28/08/2008

Australian or New Zealander who possesses no class at all Refer: white trash, red-neck, trailer trash, alcoholic, breeder, simpleton, Victorian, Geelong, Prahran, Shepparton

The traditional Bogan: Identification key for the male of the species: Black desert boots, tight black jeans, blue singlet or black t-shirt (AC-DC etc), blue chequered flannelette (flanny) long sleeved shirt. Mullet haircut (Short at the front, long at the back – refer: Billy Ray Cyrus The haircut with its own motto: 'Business at the front, party at the back' in some circles also referred to as: 'Party at the back, business at the front' Either way it is still a shit haircut. Smokes ‘winfield blues’, these are generally located rolled up in the sleeve of the ‘flanny’ Drinks Victoria Bitter (VB) Drives a generally loud V8 Holden or Ford with a stupid sticker on the back taking the piss out of the make of car that they do not drive; or simply stating the make/model of car that they do drive, just in case they forget. Identification key for the female of the species: Loud whore with way too many snotty brats, horrible shrill voice, shocking accent, really stupid (no analogy available), shops at Safeway, also possesses all of the traits of the male of the species. Social activities include: going down the pub, drinking, arguing, violence, breeding, prejudice of all varieties, watching the footy, watching Big Brother, watching Greys anatomy, watching today tonight and A current affair to see what their relatives are up to, watching the cricket, ten-pin bowling, doing burnouts and bog laps (bogan laps = driving around town just because), filling the front yard up with cars thereby further devaluing the neighbourhood, bbq’s and referring to everyone else as bogans (no I am not a bogan; don’t be a smart-arse lol) The contemporary Bogan: White trash with a severe American influence on their language, social skills and lack of fashion sense. Friday 26/12/2008

Somewhat similar to Playing silly buggers Playing stupid buggers is however never used affectionately or humorously; it is generally used in one of two different ways: 1. To refer to someone deliberately doing something wrong that is likely to have ramifications. 2. To refer to someone doing something really stupid that is likely to not end well at all

ex1. I dont know what she is up to, but knowing how her mind works; she is most likely playing stupid buggers ex2. Bogan #1 - Why are you in the hospital Bogan? Bogan #2 - I broke my left armpit, right earlobe, right funny bone and my left nipple. Bogan #1 - How did you do that you twit? Bogan #2 - Well its a funny story you see, I was walking around in you mums hot knickers when... Bogan #1 - ...oi, ive warned you before smartarse; you talk about my mums hot knickers again and I will break your appendix for you!!! Bogan #2 - Sorry!! dude you got to lay off of the red meat and cheeseburgers, dont get your mums hot knickers in a twist Bogan #1 Thumps Bogan #2 Bogan #2 - Oww, my fuckin appendix, you nasty fudgin' barstool Bogan #1 - I did warn you mungbean Bogan #2 - fair enough i guess; to tell you the truth I jumped off of the roof on my rollerblades with a bowling ball Bogan #1 - So you were playing stupid buggers then, thats all I needed to know, good luck getting that Darwin award, dont give up on the dream Bogan #2 - You didnt let me finish!!, anyway, there I was minding my own business on my roof, with my rollerblades and bowling ball wearing your mums hot knickers when... Bogan #1 - You stupid son of a bitch... ***Censored*** ***Censored*** ***Censored*** ***Censored*** Note: its not really censored I just thought writing down those Batman sounds of violence was rather gay Note #2: There is nothing wrong with being gay, everyone has the Freedom and The right to make the choice of who they want to root. Regardless of your sexual orientation (Im with the Church of Cliff Richard at the moment personally) please have a good read of the Guide to relationships Cool... 13 cross references!! I wonder if Narcissism is defined here? Sunday 02/11/2008

Everyone who is not willing to: Think for, or be themselves. Deriving from the word ‘Normal’ While normal has traditionally been considered to be a good thing to be; traditionally people have also clearly been fucktards; just look around you, we have fucked the planet that we live on, not real bright eh!!

Norms are everywhere You don’t have to ‘dare to be different’; if you do that you are just another norm Be whoever you are (unless you are a Bogan; way too many Bogans out there already) Stand up for what you believe in Dress how you want to dress Listen to the music that you like Don’t follow or make trends Give a fuck by not giving a fuck Express yourself (no, not like Madonna; like you!!) Tuesday 06/01/2009

Jade is a generally green semi precious gemstone and as well as being a colour (Hex: 558A84 RGB: 85,138,132.) It is also the best name for a female (of any species) The name Jade is best suited to someone with dark hair and tends to conjure up an oriental feel (mmm... sounds hot)

The love of my life, My reason for existence; All my dreams come true, I offer no resistance. Bad poetry will I write, far past the end of time; my drink of choice is vodka, with soda, lemon and lime. Life is hard, I must admit my despair I am in love, all should be so sweet What is so right cannot be wrong I love you Note: it is the authors opinion that poetry does not have to rhyme. This point is especially valid when the poetry in question is of such a poor standard as is the case above. However; this is of no importance as I love Jade and I will continue to regardless of everything Jade is Sweetness Tracey is a Bogan I am and have always been The lowest priority