A fork of Rural Dictionary
A desirable behaviour. Going out of your way to avoid being close to people. In the olden days (prior to the COVID19-era), it would have been seen as rude to cross the street to avoid being close to a person. There was a risk that you’d be perceived as a snob, or as a racist, or intolerant in some way of the person you were avoiding. However, in the COVID19-era and beyond, it is the best thing you can do! And it’s a bonus that no one can accuse you of being rude.
I was on my morning walk to keep me sane during the “self-isolation” period when I saw Chatty Cathy walking towards me. I crossed the street. At first, she looked a bit sad but then I hollered “it’s not you, it’s just that I’m virus dodging!”
The fragrant force field resulting from someone passing gas. Usually the flatulator (or flatulatrix, if it was a lady) will have already fled the scene. If you arrive immediately after the offense occurred, you might bounce off the invisible dome of stench (you are essentially being repelled by the force field of flatus). Sometimes, it’s hard to know where the borders of the flatus field are, and in these cases it is safe to assume that some time passed between the original offense and your arrival on scene. Most fields of flatus will dissipate within 5 minutes. Some of the most notable ones have been rumoured to last well over an hour...however, no one has actually stuck around long enough to verify this.
Do NOT go in there! I left a field of flatus and I think it’ll last about five-to-ten... I swear to God - that man created a field of flatus right before he stepped off the elevator...I sure hope no one joins me on this trip and blames me for the smell!
A guy who is a solid 7, but can easily be considered an 8 or a even a 9 once you realize he's a good dad A man who wouldn't normally get a second look, but earns extra attractiveness points when others realize he's a nice guy
Wow! I never really noticed him before, but ever since I saw him with his kids, he seems super hot. What a snappy pappy!
Someone who is compulsively buying new guitars. A FRET COLLECTOR may also expand the collection to include any instrument with frets, such as banjos, mandolins, ukuleles, with the intention of learning to play each and every one. Usually, a fret collector sticks to playing just one preferred guitar most of the time. The other instruments are displayed on the wall and are played once in a while for purposes of justifying why they purchased them. This also serves to keeping them in tune and to periodically remove the layer dust that has collected.
Wow! I see that Rod has a ton of instruments - he is a real FRET COLLECTOR! And from the looks of Mandi’s music room, she’s a FRET COLLECTOR too! They should plan a regular meeting for FRET COLLECTORS to hang out and jam and talk about guitars.
The babies conceived during the “Home Quarantine” practice linked to COVID19. The first wave of Coronnials will be born 9 months after the “Social Distancing” movement has taken hold in your community.
People born into the generation of Coronnials are highly celebrated, as they represent human resilience in a time of great unknowns.
When the glamourous lifestyle you aspire to includes donuts, sugary drinks, and large portions, you are bound to develop "diet-inspired diabetes" This is different from "diet controlled diabetes" (as this type suggests you make at least a feeble effort to control your diet.) Diet-inspired diabetics are drawn to each other and often need to pool their resources in later life to pay for wheelchair ramps and prosthetic limbs. One such club is known as the DOLAAT's ("Dying One Limb At A Time"). Such a popular club that there are chapters of DOLAATs in every nursing home across North America.
Man, those folks are in rough shape but they look so happy eating all those treats. I'm inspired to get diet-inspired diabetes too so I can join the DOLAAT club. I can't wait to wear a too-tight white T-shirt and have wheelchair races with them!
Cuntington’s Whorea refers to a progressive condition characterized by uncontrollable use of nasty words. Usually occurs in mean burned-out biotches who are overdue for retirement. This is incidentally a “spoonerism” of a legit related medical condition, Huntington’s Chorea, which is accompanied by uncontrollable movements of the limbs and death of brain cells.
Man, I figured out what is wrong with her - She has Cuntington's Whorea! The Doc just diagnosed her with Cuntington’s Whorea...prognosis is poor - we can count on frequent outbursts of nastiness from here on out...but now that she has a diagnosis, she can’t be blamed for it anymore...lucky bitch