Country Dictionary

A fork of Rural Dictionary

procrasturbake

To waste time baking, especially treats like cupcakes, instead of being productive. From procrasturbate.

I should be writing my final essay but I think I'll procrasturbake instead.

by Matti! Matti! Matti! June 27, 2011

lifestyle vampire

A person who is quiet and subdued when on their own, but comes alive when around other people, feeding off the energy of their social interaction or the event they are attending.

A: "Went rafting today which is fun but going out and doing stuff like that is always funner when you have people to share it with." B: "Are you like me, a lifestyle vampire? You exist on your own, but you live when you're with others."

by Matti! Matti! Matti! May 01, 2012

Guerrilla Weeding

Inspired by the Guerrilla Gardening movement, it is a way to improve a neighbourhood by entering public and private gardens and performing any kind of maintenance that is required, such as weeding, pruning, and thinning. If one already has the tools, it is a zero-cost activity that can be done at any time.

Granddaughter: You were a long time on your walk, Grandma. Grandmother: Yes, dear, that's because I was Guerrilla Weeding the neighbour's garden. They really need to look after their gypsophila better.

by Matti! Matti! Matti! March 26, 2012

pestrian

A pedestrian who disobeys the road rules, causing you to swerve to avoid hitting them.

I can't believe she just walked out into the road like that! Bloody pestrian!

by Matti! Matti! Matti! November 20, 2010

Japocalypse

The events in Japan following on from the earthquake of 11 March 2011, ie earthquake damage, tsunami damage, nuclear power plant damage, volcanic eruption, missing trains, massive destruction and climbing death toll. From "japan" and "apocalypse".

Man, all they need are zombies and the Japocalypse would be complete.

by Matti! Matti! Matti! March 14, 2011

The 3M Rule

A method by which one can evaluate a man for hotness, the rule consists of three parts: 1 man, 1 minute, 1 metre. One man because many men confuse the senses, one minute to allow the surge of hormones to subside, one metre because everyone looks better the further away they are.

I thought he was a total fox but it must've been my beer goggles because when I got up close and used the 3M Rule, I realised that he was a dog!

by Matti! Matti! Matti! January 19, 2011

crymaxing

To cry while masturbating because one is thinking of one's ex. From cry + climax.

From reddit: "My girlfriend is going to break up with me in 5 hours from now." –remotepath 105 points 16 hours ago please masturbate, it clears your head –mf4633 59 points 15 hours ago one caveat: don't think about her when you're doing it –speedstix 33 points 10 hours ago crymaxing is never good.

by Matti! Matti! Matti! November 24, 2011