A fork of Rural Dictionary
The theory of Whup-ass Dynamics: Opening a Can of Whup-ass tends to increase overtime and it will increase in pain, injury, and destruction . If continued, whup ass will result in mass death and destruction. Whup ass also acts as an event horizon of whup ass. It will draw in all negative emotions and energies towards the center of the point of whup ass. Once with in the field of influence (similar to the gravitational field of a black hole in space, but also like a heavy mass neutron star.) Hostilities will become more frequent. As Critical Whup-ass is achieved slurs, profanity, and violence will become extremely offensive and unbearably barbaric. The effects will become stronger until others helplessly reach the point of no return. At this point the more people that fall into the "said" can of whup-ass will exponentially add to it's radius of influence.
Today in the school of hard knocks I learned about Whup-ass Dynamics. It's the theory of how and why whup-ass occurs and what would happen if one was to become involved with it.
To be beat unmercifully senseless.
Mike billy whipped John senseless.
To be brutally and verbally put down by unknown opponent of which you were completely unaware of.
Today, I was on a roll giving everyone the business until I was Asass'nated out of nowhere by this little kid.
A rare specialized disease that can be diagnosed if caught early at birth. This disease determines the level of immunity against fucks to give and makes it to where said person diagnosed with unable to give any fucks at all and it's incurable.
Safetyman: You see this bucket beside me? This is a bucket of fucks.You understand? Special ordered from home Depot. If you can't find a duck to give on this job site, you can come get one out if this bucket. Ricky I'm placeing you in charge of getting these fuck across the job site. You understand what I'm telling you? Ricky: Awe naw that ain't my job tile and to be fair when I was born I was diagnosed with a special disease called antifuckosis. Which made me unable to ever give a fuck. Which I don't know why I would try and start now?
Can of Whup-ass Team: A Super Bad-ass Team that is called upon when extreme situations arise. Usually reserved for Prison riots and civil unrest. When all else fails the police and military call on this elite team of super bad-asses to come and settle the score. The only equipment this team uses is 8, 12, 16, 24.oz of cans and sometimes 55 gallon drums of whup-ass. Once they're given the go-ahead to move in and take care of business , there's no going back. All pent up rage and anger has to be satisfied. Depending on the ounces used, .oz is multiplied by 3.14 equaling the time duration of Ass whupping. This could go on for hours, days, weeks or months maybe even Years.
It's getting out of control, call in the C.O.W. Team!
Epic, legendary, and Mythological Cans of Whup-ass so powerful that once deployed would effectively end all known civilization. Not even the Illuminati would be able to return and recover from such an ass whupping.
The Great Cans of No return, are not to be taken lightly. They will end your ass!
A turd so large that it blows out the sphincter muscle and can't be flushed down the toilet hole. It then has to be carried outside in all it's stinky glory in a bag or bucket.
Guy1 Dude, That's one Epic Turd! Guy2 I know! It hurt like hell and I think it blew out my rectum!