Country Dictionary

A fork of Rural Dictionary

La-Z-boy ferret crunch

The #1 cause of premature death for ferrets.

THIS IS NOT A JOKE.

HUSBAND: Hey, honey, have you seen Freddy the ferret?

WIFE: No, sugar, I haven't.

HUSBAND: I've been looking for him for an hour -- I don't know where he could be. Oh, well, I guess I'll just sit down and watch some ESPN.

(Sits down, everything is fine. Then reclines -- SqueeKRUNCH! Very sadly, the La-Z-boy ferret crunch has taken another ferret life before it's time.)

HUSBAND: Oh my God! It's Freddy! Dear God...

OZZY: Don't let this happen to you.

by Ozzy Nelson, peTrainer May 27, 2006

neck scruffing

To pick up an animal by the scruff of the neck.

Psychologically, neck scruffing works well on ferrets as a way of telling them "Hey, I am your new parental figure; you need to listen to me".

by Ozzy Nelson, peTrainer May 27, 2006