A fork of Rural Dictionary
A person who sits on the toilet for an inordinate length of time because they're playing a game on their cell phone.
Sis: Damnit Tommy, get outta there! I need to take a shower!
Bro: Calm down, I'm almost done (click, click, click, click).
Sis: I hear that d-pad! Get your ass off the Can, you toilet gamer!
A pimple on your face that has popped without your knowledgs.
"Damn, Terri had a nasty mashed potato on her cheek this morning..."
Combines Merge with Sociopath. Defines a driver (usually male, usually talking on a Bluetooth device, usually driving a luxury sports sedan), who passes up an entire line of vehicles at an offramp before cutting/forcing their way into the line at the last possible moment before the exit.
Mergeopath's are self-absorbed, obviously far too important to wait in line like the rest of the common commuters, and cause an immediate rise in the blood pressure level of all those who are aware of their assholish conduct.
(wife on cell phone talking to her husband)
"Yeah, honey, I should be home in about twenty min...OH CRAP (sound of brakes and a purse flying off the passenger's seat to the floor)! I JUST GOT CUT OFF BY SOME DAMNED MERGEOPATH!"
The red ring that imprints itself around your ass when you sit on the toilet for too long.
Man 1: "Dave, why are you walking funny?"
Man 2: "Had to take a lengthy dump, and now my underwear's rubbing against my toilet hickey"