Country Dictionary

schnuffle

The act of sniffing with the loudness and intensity of a wild dog - usually while sniffing a partner's neck or arm or leg in order to ascertain that they are the real thing and not just a clone sent to trick you (which is totally possible in this day and age).

Please stop you're messing up my hair, you don't have to schnuffle me - I promise I'm your wife and not just a replicant.

b'aint

Pigeon English/slang (of Norfolk origin perhaps?) for a negative. B'aint can be used to substitute many words such as "aint, won't, shan't, can't, don't, not" etc

I b'aint be going to the cinema because I b'aint be liking the film.

rusty zipper

A man who suffers from premature ejaculation.

Nice guy but the sex was crap, he was a rusty zipper.

eating el desko

Eating your lunch at your desk.

"Sarah are you coming out to lunch with us?"
"No, I'm eating el desko."