A fork of Rural Dictionary
So you’re having a bad day. What better way to improve the day than to play a joke on someone and make them miserable too? This gag starts by dropping a steamy snickers along with a cream pie in the punch bowl and then dropping an object of importance right next to the toilet. You must now come up with an excuse to make someone else retrieve the item (eg: I threw out my back last night bc Bill Cosby pounded my spinky so good. Could you please help me?). If timed correctly, when the poor lad goes to pick up the item, the toilet will auto flush and the creamy mudpie will splatter onto his face like a child trying to eat a cream filled donut.
Tyrant: Dude I took the kids swimming yesterday. It was a nice day.
Big Easy: Glad you had a nice day, my day was miserable. I went to the shitter and decided to pump and dump. Then told buhl I needed him to pick something up for me. When he went to bend over the toilet flushed at the perfect time and he got mollywhopped by my Boston cream pie. You know what they say, “misery loves cumpoony”.
Tyrant: You need to see a psychiatrist.
This wonderful event starts out with a man sitting on a wall to show off his crotch to a woman he has a crush on. To show the woman that he is mating material, he will hump the wall in hopes of moistening her lady garden. However, he does not realize that humping the hard wall will stimulate his spinky and cause a great fall... of shit. The poopy will land below on the woman, and all hopes of mating will be crushed.
Tyrant: Yo boss, happy Friday. Any fun plans for the weekend?
The Boss: Yea I was gonna go to the Meat Market tonight for some juicy Italian sausage, but I accidentally Humpty-Dumptied my wife last night and I gotta make it up to her.
Tyrant: Bro... you’re gonna have to explain this one.
The Boss: Okay.. so I hopped on our little wall between our living room and kitchen and figured I would try to turn her on. Turns out.. I only turned on my shit wagon and inadvertently plopped a log right on her dome. Safe to say I won’t be getting dome for a while.
Tyrant: Damn dude I’m so sorry to hear that. Hope she doesn’t get POO-TSD from that. Next time wear your Shitbit, as it would’ve warned you that logs were a brewin’.
A revenge term for when you find out your gf is cheating on you and instead of breaking up with her, you hit her with a chocolate rain. First, you take a bunch of laxatives before sex and make sure you are pounding doggy style. Then, right as you are about to bust your load, you pull out and swiftly hop forward like a kangaroo and cover her head with a concoction of cum and diarrhea. The key is to make sure this all takes place in HER bed and once you are done, you hold up both middle fingers and walk out with a huge smile.
Mike: Dude I had some wicked sex last night, I must’ve busted like 6 times.
Stoney: Bruh, my gf is a total gutter slut and cheated on me with some douchewad. So I acted like I didn’t know and I hit her with the gnarliest chocolate rain. It was glorious.
Mike: Bro.... NICE!!!!
Mike: Yo Stonathan, my wife was pegging me last night and she pulled on my nuts and I burst like a fire hydrant.
Stoney: Dude, next time have her massage your Scruntul and you’ll erupt like Kilimanjaro.
Here’s the situation. You have this chick over and you about to eat some flounder. As she becomes moist, you then realize she has SOS (Stanky Oozing Syndrome). You can either tell her your stomach hurts and fish will just irritate it, or you can man up and say you gotta drop a massive dookster and will be right back. You proceed to go to the bathroom and eat a dead bat that you’ve been storing for a situation like this. You will instantly contract COVID-19 and lose all smell and taste. Now get back out there and enjoy a nice filet-o-fish.
T-Bone: Yo broski, what’s on the menu tonight?
Big Queasy: Well I was gonna eat some salmon with my wife, but the fish I been having lately just don’t taste right..
T-Bone: Hmmm.. sounds like a case of SOS (Stanky Oozing Syndrome). I’ll tell you what if you need any dead bats, just go to Shitty Noodle Factory. My boy Ching Ming Wang can hook you up with some fresh COVID-19 in no time. Then that “salmon” will just taste like nothing.
Big Queasy: Thanks T-Bone. I knew there was a reason we were friends. I will hit up the SNF for dinner tonight. I hear they have great dinner specials.
An angry old man who has lost all of his morals and doesn’t give a fuck anymore. He goes around and seeks out random women to blow his loads on.
Big Sleezy: Yo Tyrant, I saw this old dude blowing his loads all over the place last week. Dude must be getting castrated or something soon.
Tyrant: Nah dude, that’s just the local Cum-mudgeon. That dude sprays his loads on any and every woman he sees. Idk how he doesn’t run out of sperm, that dude can go for days.
Big Sleezy: I want to be like him when I grow up...
When you pounding a girl so hard with your girthy salami stick, that it causes cracks in her snatch region. In rare cases, the aftercocks can be so powerful, that they cause a rectal prolapse. ER trips are strongly recommended if this occurs, but only skanks and weenie hut JR. members actually go to the ER.
Miguel Cumbrera: Yo hombre, we hitting the casino tonight? I hear they’re doing strip poker.
Stoney Tonio: Yo cabrón, sheeeeeet I can’t tonight. I gave my girl a girthquake. I thought I was just taking her to pound town, turns out I took her to pound country, and busted up her clam bake. Now she has two cracks down there 🤣
MC: Dawg you’re gonna have to teach me that one. We can try it at strip poker next time. There are loads of loose grannies down at the casino waiting to be plunked by our micro Slim James.
SA: Sheeet home sizzle, sounds good to me, I’m getting a half Chubb just thinking about it. I’m listening to Girth Brooks right now to get in the mood.