A fork of Rural Dictionary
This uneventful situation occurs when the woman’s vagina is too small to accompany the man’s schlong. The male attempts to use his penis as a battering ram to forcefully penetrate the woman’s vagina, mimicking the act of a crazed Mongolian trying to annihilate the Great Wall of China. If and when the man achieves penetration, a successful Mongolian battering ram has been accomplished.
Guy: Dude how was your weekend?
Nick Foles: It was great. I won another Super Bowl and performed a Mongolian Battering Ram on my wife because my dick is just way too big.
Guy: Bro that’s wicked. You’ll have to show me sometime.
So one night you’re laying in bed and your stomach starts to hurt. So you go to the bathroom to drop a dook. You start pumpin out some snickers but then you realize you gotta puke. With your b-hole all greased up, you’re hesitant to get off the shitter. Before you can even make any decision, your throat sphincter gives in and releases your intestine goo. Reacting quickly, you aim down at the toilet you are still sitting on... and now you have a puke dick. Nice goin a-hole.
Miguel Cumbrera: Yo amigo. How you handling the quarantino?
Antonio Bonederas: Mi Hermano it’s not going so bueno. Last night I went to drop some snickers in the punch bowl, and I ended up with puke-dick & shit too. At least I can’t go anywhere, so my chicas at the club won’t know.
Miguel Cumbrera: Hombre that’s some gnarly mierda you got there. You and me should get together tomorrow for drinks. How about some Coronas?
An exclamation that a man yells when he is about to go balls deep in his woman’s hoo hoo and wants her to know that his wang is the greatest. This will arouse the woman and make her moister than a 6 month old heavily used sponge.
Stoney: Yo bro, how’s it hangin?
Big Queefy: You mean like how’s it going or how my wang is hangin?
Stoney: I mean.... I guess both lol
Big Queefy: Well I’m doing well thanks for asking. My wang on the other hand is in urgent care recovery. I screamed Allahu Cockbar when I was slamming this hoe last night and she opened up like a newly born clam popping out of its shell. I smashed her way too hard and bruised my brisket. So that’s how my mangled meat is doing.
Stoney: Damn bro, lmk if you need me to tag in next time. I would’ve been ready to go.
The delightful act of simultaneously peeing, pooping, and blowing your homemade man juice on a hoe that you slightly dislike.
Tyrant: Bro I can’t wait to go home and slap my bag. I’m so stressed out after this week.
Big Easy: Dude I’m stressed too. I might hit up one of my exes and give her a Wizzconsin Mudpie. I’m gonna make sure to eat Taco Bell and a shit ton of asparagus and garlic so my jack juice and poo poo smell like rotten slut.
Tyrant: Dude if you need assistance I can help you out. We can even go to Dunkin after to celebrate.
Big Easy: Pp
When you are taking a shower and vigorously blow your nose between your hands, the boogers fly out of your nose at breakneck speed into your man bush. Introducing... the creation of lè booger bush.
Big Easy: Dude, do you ever have to blow your nose so bad that you shart?
Tyrantula: Even worse man. I blow my nose so hard in the shower that my boogies get caught in my Amazon forest and I can’t find them. Now I got a friggen booger bush!
Big Easy: I just bushted a nut.
This occurs when your partner is snoring obnoxiously loud. You proceed to squat over your partner’s face and drop a nice steamy log(s) into his or her mouth, which will stop the snoring. Unfortunately, this may cause Sleep Crapnea as your partner may be unable to breathe because of the foul odor that now lives inside his or her mouth.
P.S. This is a bad idea to attempt if one has consumed an irritant such as Chipotle or Taco Bell within the last 48 hours. Diarrhea is a high risk within this range of time, and will definitely awake the partner into a frenzy.
Tyrant: Yo bro, me and a couple dudes are gonna hit the bar after work today. You in?
Big Easy: Nah bro I can’t make it. My wife’s still pissed off about the Sleep Crapnea she had last night. Turns out I had major diarrhea from Taco Tuesday last night. When I went to drop a log in her mouth to stop her outrageous snoring, I accidentally pushed too hard and I blew shit all over her face. It was a massive shitstorm and she almost kicked me outta the house. I told her I was sleepwalking and thought her face was the toilet and she totally bought it.
Tyrant: Dude you gotta be more careful next time. Could’ve just made her sleep on the couch or the sidewalk.
Step 1 (The Apootizer): This is the beginning of a shitty ride. This will be a light loosening of the spinky, and possibly even a log or two may drop. However you are simply preparing for the main course so remain pootient.
Step 2 (The main Poo-latter): Logs will be droppin’, spinkies will be poppin’. Things could get messy real quick. You might even want to invest in a deeper toilet bowl to avoid splash damage.
Step 3 (Dessert Deuces): Now that the main Poo-latter is over, its time to finish it off with a nice Crème Poolée. These logs will be nice and creamy, with a layer of crusty caramel glazed on top.
Bon appootit.
TyrantulaSaurus Rex: Yo Buhl watchu doin for the Super Bowl?
Big Cheesy: I’m taking a nice three-course-dump. In other words, I’m taking the Browns to the Super Bowl.
TyrantulaSaurus Rex: Sweet so you’re telling me the New England Pootriots aren’t in it this year?
Big Cheesy: That’s right. I’m taking them with me too. Should be very pooleasant.