A fork of Rural Dictionary
n. cow meat which has at some stage in its production been exposed to hair.
Maw Parker: I got you steaks for dinner kids.
Kid #1: Cool.
Kid #2: There's hair on my beef!
(Other kids all snigger at the connotations)
vt. ("to go on tour"); to go clubbing or on a pub crawl with a collection of acquaintances, with the sole mission to get as bladdered as possible and generally behave in a leary and lecherous manner. See also on the sauce, on the razzle dazzle.
A keen pasttime of
Me: "So are you guys on tour, to the teef?"
Jamie: "Aye, heavy to the who! Bushtucker tour 2006!"
n. (a.k.a. chips and cheese) commonplace British delicacy, to be found in almost every 3am eaterie for around £2.00. Profoundly sautéed in 'graisse animale', the chips (fries to non-UK English speakers) are then drowned to taste in traditional seasoning (table-salt and industrial malt vinegar) before the 'pièce de résistance' - a delightful coat of the cheapest plasticky "cheddar-syle" cheese available. Voilà! Delicious.
The mis-pronounciation is a direct hommage, if you will, to the owners and employees of Britain's millions of kebab shops, and their unilateral endearing trait of being unable to speak English.
*3 o'clock a.m., any town centre in the UK*
Turkish guy at till: Whatchoo wan'?
Drunk customer: What? £5 for a kebab? I'll have fookin' chips and cheese then.
Turkish guy (to the guy doing the frying): Ey Sanjeet, two chip an' chee!
v.t. ("on the razzle dazzle", "to razzle and dazzle") When a group of lads join forces in order to become muntered and hopefully get a gobble by the end of the night. From the ancient Greek compounds "razzle" - to drink your bodyweight in tequila; and "dazzle" - to attempt to bone anything with a pulse at a seedy nightclub.
Hopefully, said troops will end up getting their nat king cole, and if they are extremelly fortunate, they will avoid becoming a noted munter-gatherer.
Lad 1: You fancy another Aftershock?
Lad 2: No, too much razzle can ruin your chances of dazzling. And I've got my eye on that fattie in the corner, wobbling her fat arse along to "No Limit".
Lad 3: How's the razzle dazzle going?
Lad 4: Pretty good, £1 a drink so I'm bawspank'd, and that munter that I pulled has a slightly more attractive friend.
Lad 3: Casey and Dean aren't faring so well.
Lad 4: I guess we could go for DVDA with that fattie in the corner?
n. British rhyming slang for the popular and very strong (5.2% abv) Belgian lager, Stella Artois. Generally used by the politically-correct or mild-mannered public house frequenteur, because the better-known synonym for Stella Artois in the UK is wifebeater.
Barman: What'll it be?
Barfly 1: What's cheap?
Barman: Carling, Foster's...
Barfly 2: Don't get cheap on me, you tightwad! Two pint of Bella, please.
(inf. phrase) In reference to the bumming scene in the 1973 Bertolucci movie "Last Tango In Paris" and the popular 1990s TV commercials for the soft drink "Tango" - when you've just shot your creamy load up a bird's arse, this phrase makes the perfect accompaniment to a post-coital cigarette, all the more poignant if you have used butter or Tango as lube.
Me: Was that Cadbury canal cruise good for you too?
Bumslut: (crying) No! It was horrible and painful, and it's all sticky because of the cum, butter and Tango!
Me: Unlucky, bumslut - You've Been Tangoed!
v. to 'beef' with someone's mind; could be brainwashing, confusing, disorienting etc etc.
n. a 'mindbeef' (the act of mindbeefing); either 1. a tactic of confusing or 'psyching out' someone, or 2. (inf.) to skull-fuck; vigourous oral sex
Frank: I had sex with your mother last night.
Dave: Stop beefing with my mind!
(At the prison showers)
Bubba: You gettin' mindbeef'd faggot
Weiner doing time for income tax evasion: Gulp!