Country Dictionary

Caning

The sexual act of repeatedly sticking a candy cane into a woman’s vagina.

My cousin Walter said that even after him and his lady broke up, she’d call him every year around Christmas, looking for another “caning.”

Schrödinger's Dick

Schrödinger's Dick (or Schrödinger's Vagina) is a variation on the famous Schrödinger's Cat thought experiment and refers to the superposition of the genitals of an individual (in pornographic material). If one is aroused by said individual but has not yet seen whether they possess a penis or a vagina, and depending on the sexual orientation of the aroused party, there is a 50% chance that they are unknowingly attracted to the same sex. Until they find out, the individual who they are aroused by has a penis and a vagina simultaneously.

Subject 1: "See that chick over there? She looks hot."
Subject 2: "I'm pretty sure that's a dude."
Subject 1: "I don't see no dick."
Subject 2: "You may be right, but you're probably looking at Schrödinger's Dick."