A fork of Rural Dictionary
Doughnut warriors travel in packs, have flashing red and blue lights (so you know they're not messing around), and typically weigh in at about 300 pounds. They are one of the more violent hominids you can meet face to face, typically 50% of them beat their partners and 100% of them are total douchebags
"that doughnut warrior took the PIG CHOPPA down to dunkin doughnuts again. If i were a robber, doughnut shops would be the last place i'd rob, sooo many doughnut warriors gather there"
When a child drowns, waterboards, or otherwise tortures a stuffed animal or doll in order to get them to talk. But teddy ain’t no snitch.
“Her teddy bear lost an eye when it wouldn’t talk. She’s going to waterboard it later, sometimes enhanced playtime is the best strategy for gathering information”
Singular of wypipo/ scourge of the earth. Calls the police on every squirrel, tree, and black person they can find ‘dangerously’ eating a waffle
Person 1: “yo did you see that Wypoo son calling the cops?” Person 2: “yeah, i did, they must’ve seen a black person driving again” Person 3: “i wish wypipo cared as much about the KKK burning crosses on my lawn as they do about Gerald driving”
The belief that one cannot be harmed, and nothing can go wrong in your life if you simply have faith in your favourite imaginary supernatural being. Best espoused in 2020 by US republicans who equate "wearing a mask" to "not having faith in god's will and protection" By extension, this also means it is safe to jump into traffic if you simply have faith in god hard enough Of course, this also implies that if you leap into traffic and get hurt, your faith was not true enough. This belief system is a self reinforcing and self-reproducing way to hurt yourself. You leap into traffic, get hit by a car, stand up, believe in god harder, leap into traffic again, get hit by a car again. This process repeats until god protects you forever or you wind up dead. Slrt of like a "shit in one hand, wish in the other" type scenario.
***online dating*** Man: "Hey gurl, you look damn good ;)" Girl: "You look like you should leap into traffic" Man: "Gurl, if i leap into traffic I'll wind up dead. I'm an atheist so i dont got the same supernatural protections as the religious folk"
Something that would only happen to an ant.
“It happened by happenstants”
A particularly attractive police Officer.
"damn gurl, did you see that FINE veal that has us pulled over? He can take me to his pig pen anytime, and we can get real dirty together!"
A particularly attractive police Officer.
"damn gurl, did you see that FINE veal that has us pulled over? He can take me to his pig pen anytime, and we can get real dirty together!"