A fork of Rural Dictionary
A state of complete drunkenness; a more fervent form of wasted. It is often succeeded by a number on a 1-10 scale to indicate the level of said quastedness. History: It is derived from a series of typos which turned the statement "I am wasted!" into "I am qasted9" - the exclamation point was turned into a 9 during intoxication as a result of inordinate usage of the iphone touchpad keyboard. As a result, a 1-10 scale proceeds the word to indicate the level of drunkenness; 9 being anything short of being rushed to the hospital for alcohol poisioning. Over time, "qasted" was adapted to "quasted" to better conform to standard English rules.
Example 1: After chugging a bottle of Jose Cuervo, the man found himself locked in a bathroom spewing projectile vomit on all four walls while clutching his cell phone in hand proudly texting his friend "I am quasted9" before completely blacking out. Example 2: Guy 1: You had sex with another dude last night? How drunk were you? Guy 2: I was about quasted6, maybe quasted7. Guy1: I'd have to be at least quasted9 to fuck another dude.
Someone who engages in infidelity after the consumption of wine. Characteristics include: marital disloyalty, general acts of belligerence, sacrilegious declarations, and aroused sexual prowess (often resulting in the repulsion of strangers).
Steve polished off a bottle of white Zin and proceeded to behave like a complete zinfidel, hitting on every woman in sight and dry-humping a tree after failing miserably in his attempts to woo any member of the female population.
A hard-on or insatiable desire to consume a glass of Chardonnay. It is the craving a wine connoisseur gets at a fine-dining restaurant, upper-class social gathering, opera, or cultural event. It is the need to simultaneously quench and tingle your palate combined with a need to exude subtle snobbery that can only be accomplished with a glass of a fine white wine (most commonly, a light Chardonnay).
I can't wait to get out of work, go home, and open up a bottle of Chateau Montelena 2005. I've had a Chard-on since my lunch break.
Laughing On The Inside. You know you're not really laughing out loud half the time you type "LOL," so it's time to face the facts with a little accuracy. Maybe you're chuckling or scoffing, but you're not waking up the neighbors with a thunderous heckle. LOTI is the most suitable and accurate acronym to describe your level of entertainment. Maybe you're cracking a smile, but the laughter is silent. You're not laughing out loud, you're LOTIing.
Guy #1: Two psychics pass each other on the street, one says to the other, "you're doing fine, how am I?" Guy #2: LOTI, LOTI, man.