Country Dictionary

A rude, nasty, verbally aggressive person (usually a woman but not always) who makes snide comments through a fake, neocortex smile.

Normal Person: I talked to someone at the baggage claim who said that they would have my bag ready within four hours.

Smiling Bitch: Oh. Well, I guess that they must have been wrong.

Normal Personal: Why are you smiling?

Smiling bitch: Because I'm not just a bitch, hon, I'm a smiling bitch.

A mild illness that one contracts or develops following the passing of a loved one.

Crap. Uncle Tim died. That means I'll get a sympathy cold that will last for weeks.

An adult, most commonly a male, who has never fully developed or matured emotionally and is characterized by a low degree of self awareness, awkward interactions with other people, a lack of empathy and an inability to achieve intimacy.

Gary: "Ken, I hate to be the one to tell you this but Uncle Gilbert has cancer."

Ken: "More cottage cheese and peaches."

Gary: "Excuse me?"

Ken: "More cottage cheese and peaches. Bring me some."

Gary: "Ken, dude, you are emotionally stunted."

excessive name dropping, a combination of name dropping and carpet bombing

Person one: "And then the President said, and then Micheal Jordan said and then Lagerfeld showed up, George Clooney said hello to me, Dan Rather was like, oh my God, and then there was Tom Cruise, Meryl Streep, Tom Brokaw, The Queen of England, Mayor Bloomberg.."

Person two: "Shut up."

Person one: "Why?"

Person two: "You're name carpetbombing."

A number of closely interrelated disasters that are connected to one another through their collective gravity.

The expression is the combination of the astronomical term globular cluster for group of stars and a clusterfuck.

The oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico will ruin corporate reputations, damage the fishing industry, kill countless fish and birds, pollute beaches and coastal wetlands. In short it is a globular clusterfuck that will take years to recover from.

World War I, the Spanish Flu, the Great Depression and World War 2 are viewed by many historians as a globular clusterfuck that spanned over three decades.

a combination of a shower and a toilette often in bathrooms without a clear separation between the two.

Kathy thought that her shoilette was very convenient as a place to shave her legs. Plus you never know when you might need to go.

to cut someone off from the benefits of sexual intercourse (a combination of excommunicate and fornicate)

Dede decided, one more slight about her housekeeping skills and she would exfornicate her husband