Country Dictionary

A man engaging in vigorous sexual congress with a woman who posesses a unkempt bush can be said to be 'feeding the rat'

A man joins assorted friends for breakfast following a heavy night out: Man: "Goodness, you should have seen the size of the badger on the bird i pulled last night, I almost lost my kebab" Mate #1: "Did you feed the rat?" Man: "Yeah, I managed to throw a flacid semi up her"

A term used to describe the state of a bedroom/aeroplane toilet following a particularly productive shagging session. A condom graveyard is noted for the following atmospheric conditions: 1. It stinks of cum 2. There's johnnies eveywhere

My parents were coming round on Sunday so I had to open the windows in my flat and clear up the condom graveyard.

A derogatory term for a person with a birthmark or large mole on their ear that resembles a smear of shit

"Excuse me, have you fallen over in some poo a got it on your ear?" "No, it's known technically as shit ear and I would thank you not to mention it"

Bastardised version of cashback. Used to describe the taking out of cash in order to go out and chase gash

Gentleman: Two cartons of um bongo and a packet of skittles please shopkeeper Shopkeeper: Certainly sir, any gashback? Gentleman: £20 please, I fancy a spot of wenching tonight and need some funds Shopkeeper: Very good sir

A verb used to describe persuing wenches in one's local hostelry

My hobbies include fishing, topiary, 1960s French cinema and wenching

From titanic: a shit that is so large it poses a danger to shipping

man 1: You're walking funny man 2: I've just sunk the shitanic, I'm not sure my ring will recover

A sarcastic expression used to express just how unimpressed you are following a particularly boring or clichéd anecdote from a friend

Student #1: Last night I got so drunk I passed out in a toilet/lost my tousers/vomited in my own shoe Student #2: Big wow