A fork of Rural Dictionary
Tent-sized light blue Y-fronts worn by Nogtard. First spotted on 22nd August when Nogtard stopped in the street and lifted his polo shirt. The pants were halfway up his chest and of a style not made since 1987. How often he changes them is anyone's guess.
Are we getting a marquee for my birthday party? Not sure we'll get one big enough for all those guests we've got coming. We'll have to use Nogtard's pants instead.
A South African word for 'bollocks'. The word was coined in the 1980s by South Africans who came to realise that English men called Maxwell talk nothing but bollocks.
Pork Scotch: I've got a girlfriend. South African person: Maxwells! That's not a girl. Its a vampire turkey from hell.
The highest level of ugliness. A truly unbelievable degree of repulsiveness usually only achieved by little fat security guards.
Ugliness levels: 1 ugly 2 pug ugly 3 fugly 4 pug fugly 5 super pug fugly 6 scotch fugly
A person who is so tall they can destroy a caravan by just standing up in it. As he stands up the caravandal's head smashes through the roof and the caravan is then ruined.
Anyone who is 5' 10" should be banned from caravans. They're all caravandals.
South African word for a barbecue. According to Pork Scotch and Goofy Granny this is "the only way to eat" and even "the only way to live". In reality however it is the only way to be fat and gay and wear pink flowery shorts.
For normal people a braai is something reserved for special occasions. For Scotch Man Porky Wawky its something you do at least once a day if the sun is out.
The largest member of the slug family, a slimy purple beast weighing over 4 pounds. This species is believed to have a world population of one, the individual in question residing in the mouth of a fat black moron known as Nogtard. It is force-fed a diet of Sargent's apple pies, Hill's ginger biscuits and Smart Price vanilla ice cream.
You can keep your tarantulas, pythons and grizzlies. The most fearsome, disgusting creature in the world is Nogtard's Tongue.
A retard who cleans the bogs at Asda. These mentally-unfortunate individuals can often be seen fishing out unflushable Hill biscuits with a net and eating them for lunch.
What's David doing? Fishing out the Snuf biscuits for lunch. Can't get enough of those lovely bourbons. Typical Asda bog cleaner!