A fork of Rural Dictionary
n. A fundamentalist Christian outreach concept, in which the intent is to "debunk" science with the word of scripture. Its most vocal adherents are southern and mid-western U.S. evangelical protestants (see Bible Thumper.) Creation "scientists" try to convince "unsaved" people that the Earth was formed in a Creation that took place at the hands of Almighty God a few thousand years ago, and hope their evidence will convert a few of these "unsaved" people to the faith. Some key tenets of Creation Science: --Scientists (the real ones) are going to Hell, where they will burn forever for blasphemy of the Holy Word of God. --"Evolution" is a scam to trick us into believing that wholesome, white Christians have common ancestry with apes and chimps and (oh no, please no...) black people! Evolution is the Devil's Theory (yes, it is just a theory). --Hell is real, full of sulfur, and it exists in the center of the Earth. (Most persons on Earth will be summarily cast into this Lake of Fire when we pass away.) Unfortunately, unlike real scientists, Creation Scientists face a non-existent job market. Most find work in blue-collar manufacturing jobs, or else provide for their families by huntin' sqwirls, 'coons and o-possum. Their hobbies range from watching NASCAR, to whippin' the kids, to attending Klan and CCC rallies. Prrrraise Jesus!
Question: How old is this part of the Grand Canyon? Scientist: This formation is about five million years old, according to our best uranium-lead dating... Creation Scientist: Them there canyon ain't no more 'n' maybe 4000 years ole,' and if you done believe otherwise, you're a Hellbound sinner, praise the Lord! Now please op'n' all yawl's Bibles to Genesis, Chapter Six and let us remind ourselves of the word of God...
n. A female who provides sexual services in exchange for rocks of crack cocaine, upon which she is physiologically dependent.
Daequon's bitch a crack ho--you gotta git out the rock before you can git out the cock, dogg. Dat's just how it works.
n. Saturday is Shabbos, the Jewish day of rest. On this day, one apparently does not work, get in a car, fucking ride in a car, pick up the phone, turn on the oven, or partake in the game of bowling, among other things.
"I told that Kraut a fuckin' thousand times I don't roll on Shabbos!" --Walter Sobchak (The Big Lebowski)
n. The state penitentiary (the big house, the rock, the slammer, the cooler, etc.)
LaPrell got five-to-ten in the state pen for pullin' a nine on The Man.
(Proper noun / registered trademark) Music TeleVision for Universities. Insufferable pop trash and advertisement network that relentlessly targets the college student audience. MTVU especially tries to cultivate a loyal following from the Spring-Break Party Animals and Trendy Airheads, both of whom comprise the vast majority of the college demographic these days. The whole point of MTVU is to make money, of course. By negotiating contracts to have their inane audiovisual sewage piped into college cafeterias and similar public places on campus, MTVU hopes to brainwash its captive audience into a bunch of pop-culture-crazed, money-spending zombies. Please see a mental health professional if you are regularly exposed to MTVU at school.
After a year of exposure to MTVU, Derek gave up studying, threw away his bluegrass records and replaced them with 50 Cent, went on a month-long drunken spring break in Cancun, became a bitch for Abercrombie, started dating promiscuous airheaded cheerleaders, bought a Hummer with his parents' money, and entered the wasted brotherhood of Sigma Upsilon Kappa. In short...they won his soul.
n. Fast food chain which cooks up a damn tasty bowl of chili. If you're too much of a pansy for the "traditional" recipe, you can request that your chili be served without severed human appendages.
Cashier: Hello, welcome to Wendy's, what can we get for you? Customer: I'll have a large bowl of chili, supersize that please, and uh...can you please hold the fingers and toes in that order, ma'am?
vt. 1. To attack with a nuclear weapon, or to otherwise bring about widespread and utter destruction. 2. To cook a foodstuff in a microwave oven (it is a common misconception that microwave energy is a form of nuclear radiation). 3. To delete a computer user's accounts without warning, typically for abuse.
1. After years of patent hostility, US Emperor-For-Life George Bush finally nuked France in 2020, resulting in the formation of the "Freedom Sea". 2. "Just nuke those vegetables for five minutes on High, it's much quicker than steaming them." 3. The webhosting company nuked Jamal's "penile enhancement" sites because he was caught spamming.