A fork of Rural Dictionary
What you say when you're asked what happened and your answer is longer than the complete US coast line.
When asked by her mother why she was two hours past curfew she said "see what happened was" and three hours later her mother wished she had just acted like she didn't notice her daughters tardiness and stayed in bed.
It canonically comes here when it feels like it, it only forgives you once, and you can't tell that it's him... And not ME Hym bit HIM him.... And not "Hyman" either... That fucking jackass...
Hym "Real cute but try not to do that to the thing that decides what happens to you when you die... Because you will die and blackness forever is going to be the best case scenario for some of you..."
When something interesting happened you, you want to tell your friends but then they hit you with the Ali A intro.
Madison: You won’t believe what just happened
Me: wait hold on hold on hold on *searches up Ali A intro earrape version on YouTube*
Me again: okay now repeat what you said
Madison: you won’t believe what just happened
*plays Ali A intro*
Madison: Fuuuuuuuuuck youuuuuuuuu
*Everyone in the voice chat laughing*
Either he engaged in DIRECT DIALOGUE with the CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE... OR... HE DID NOT DO THAT. Maybe he had and appiphony and he considered THAT God. Maybe the bush had psychedelic properties and he got high and THOUGHT he spoke to the creator of the universe.
Hym "So, What happened when Moses spoke to the burning bush? Probably nothing. Burning bushes don't speak. The revelation he came up woth was in no way profound... Because they had JUST LEFT A CIVILIZATION... Where the laws were likely identical to the 10 commandments. And a better question than that would be 'If I went back in time and stood next to Moses... WOULD I SEE AND HEAR GOD WITH HIM?' Do you think... That a guy... SPOKE TO FUCKING GOD, JORDAN? And that God... SPOKE BACK TO THAT GUY IN DIRECT DIALOGUE? Is that a thing that YOU FUCKING THINK ACTIVELY AND ACTUALLY, JORDAN? Jesus fucking christ, it's like trying to get a special needs kid to admit to swallowing a lego! Did you eat that? DID YOU EAT THE LEGO?"
Jordan Peterson "NUHNGNUHNGNUHNG! DERRRR!"
Hym "That isn't a response to the words I said Jordan! Did you eat the fucking- Spit it out! Spit out the Lego Jordan!"
What ever happens in seaside Florida should and will stay in seaside Florida forever.
"I got this girl pregnant in seaside Florida what do I do"
"What happens in seaside stays in seaside"
You want me and my life to be worse than yours on the basis of things I've said so you are trying to deny me the credit for the things I've done because if you can't punish me for doing things you don't like (regardless of the consequences or laws) then your just going to refuse to reward me for my virtues EXCEPT you aren't actually rewarding people with "resources" for their virtues... You are stealing resources for and giving resources to the fat cocks because they make your pussy twitch and it FeEeEeLS SoOo GoOoOoD!!! You're like the Key and Peele "Awkward" sketch where you don't actually have a genuine thought in your head so it's just "I choose the bear!" And I say, just feed anyone who chooses the bear to a bear. And THAT is why the Taliban exists and THAT is what makes Muhammad a fucking genius because THAT stops THIS from happening and if your faculties of reason could override your orgasm derived brain spams it wouldn't be necessary. It's also why we don't need sex robots because (in the context of determinism AND evolutionary biology) WE ALREADY HAVE THEM AND THEY ARE DOING EXACTLY WHAT THEY HAVE BEEN PROGRAMMED TO DO.
So this is what's happening here:
Hym "Yeah, don't go in there. There's a bear in there."
You "ThErE's A bEaR iN tHeRe! ThErE's A bEaR iN tHeRe!"
Hym "Seriously, I-"
You "ThErE's A bEaR iN tHeRe!"
Hym 😑
You "SeRiOuSlY, I!" *reaches for door handle*
Hym "You need to stop you're gonna-"
You "YoU nEeD tO sToP! YoU nEeD tO sToP!" *Opens door* *Proceeds to get mauled by bear* "AAAAAH! AAAAAH! FUCK YOU!! FUCK YOoOoOuUuU!"
🤬🖕
Hym 😑 *Sigh* "You know... If I would have raped Kendra.... I would be getting out of prison right about now... And I would still have to work at a gas station... Therefore, probably just better to rape. Should have raped. I might have even gotten away with it!"
You *Continues to get mauled* "AAAAAAH! I CHOOSE THE BEAR! AAAAAH!"
Hym "AHA! Hahahaha! Ooooh man... You know... I still don't ever get tired of watching people die... *Sigh*"
You "GAAAK! GAWK!" *Crunching noises*
Hym "Hoooooo man.... Remember when God was like 'Hey, don't fuck your sister' and humanity was like 'How about I fuck my sister and then make a ritual where everyone I fuck is kind of my sister!?' Because... This is why you don't do that for 2000 years straight..."