Country Dictionary

A fork of Rural Dictionary

Splinter me timbers

A masturbation related injury

Guy 1: *walking along awkwardly*
Guy 2: Hey buddy, what happened to you?
Guy 1: I was watching Mudhole Nuns Gone Wild 76 and got too excited, next thing I knew, splinter me timbers!
Guy 2: Oh my lawdy...

by PrinceCharming6.9 May 10, 2015

Who's choking on the splinters

Employees that suck on the wood penis on the Boss ....aka buttsniffers, suckass

Damnit I tired of all the "Who's choking on the splinters" types around work.

by williedoitnow August 10, 2022

Splinter train

The act of rubbing one's anus back and forth across a plank of wood in order to receive pleasure and, inevitably, splinters.

I splinter trained last night. Very enjoyable.

by Cucumber101 July 08, 2017

Arse splinters

Arse splinters. - when you do a fibrous nutty log and it rips on the way out.

I’m never eating pistachios again after the Arse splinters they gave me this morning.

by Jay.Bee December 21, 2023

The Click Splinter

When your cock slips off your computer mouse and briefly rubs over the piece of balsa wood that you use as a mouse pad and in turn gives your penis tip a splinter

I can not describe how pleasant the click splinter was and how unpleasant my mom's mexican wedding planner can be and is

by CrippleDOGS January 06, 2011

Shitting splinters

When a bowl movement causes anal stinging

That curry was fierce, tomorrow I'll be shitting splinters

by Pocka Shnoods December 24, 2023

banana splinter

it's when you get something stuck in your dick

Man I was trying to give myself a piercing this weekend and ended up with a banana splinter

by lolghostu February 27, 2016