A fork of Rural Dictionary
Plain and simple, the Koolaid Guru is Gerald.
Corey- man that Koolaid is good.
Gerald- of course it is, I'm the Koolaid Guru
a polo king, wears polo all day everyday, has polo accessories and clothing.
Xae: Aye you know shaq lampley, thats the original Polo Guru.
Aj: Yea, he be wearing Ralph Lauren everyday!
A person who rises, arrives, or acts after the "Early Bird". A person who is habitually active or wakeful in the Afternoon. Never on time if something is scheduled in the morning, always staying at home when invited to a night-time event, and sleeps for more then 8 hours a night. Typically up between the hours of 11am-9pm.
"He's an afternoon guru! He will never make it to the meeting by 8!" "Is Katie coming to the bar tonight? No, she an afternoon guru. I wouldn't count on it."
A close relative to the FIGJAM stereotype (“F***, I’m good. Just ask me.”) but this slouch of a human is a recluse, often with potato chip crumbs sprinkled on his pudgy belly. The Armchair Guru won’t choose to dominate conversation by interrupting or speaking over others, instead he will both glorify the profundity of his experiences whilst simultaneously actively discrediting anyone else who he recognizes as a threat to his intellectual cachet in the hierarchical order.
His professed knowledge rests solely on anecdotal evidence with a paltry stockpile of half-finished trinkets that are mounted as a stately exhibit of “Yeah, As you can see it’s pretty impressive but it’s nowhere near as epic as the collection I put together at my last place.”
The Armchair Guru is a toddler with tall tales that are now taken on their word because he has grown a beard.
I went to Dave’s place to collect the 300 bucks he owes me and this armchair guru reframed the situation into a lecture about how I was acting in my own self interest when I decided to lend him the money. It was made all the more insulting as I could see the bowl of green that he was choofing down was well in excess of what he owed me. So not only did I not get a cent off him, I had to listen to his “Sheeple” this and “Government” that, for like two hours before I realized I was wasting my time by being there.
Iconic line from kubiwa kyouiku no susume made by the hit band gulu gulu
Ai: do u like kubiwa kyouiku no susume
Lanju: guru guru mawaru?????
A person who likes taping Himself and his things. He loves to fuck with albanians, chines, and other immigrates. No one can be more smart, sapient and PORCODDIO than him. He also create the University of Varese.
Do you know someone who can destroy my anus?
oh, fuck yeah, he is a Guru of it. But he does it only if you are an immigrate.