A fork of Rural Dictionary
Marblehead, a pussy ass town filled with bitches that think they are better than swampscott but really they lose to swampscott in every fucking sport because all they do is skateboard n grow their stupid nasty ass hair out long. The kids look like fucking greasers!!! FUCK MARBLEHEAD!!!
Ex1. parker c biggest bitch in town. he plays baseball for swampscott cuz marblehead baseball programs arent good enough for the greasy header.
Marblehead is a little town on the east coast of Massachusetts. This town is noted as the birthplace of the American Navy, but it is also home to one of the biggest groups of rich, snobby, stuck up, ignorant, dumb ass liberals who get whatever they want. The younger genreation of the town takes what they're priviliged with for granted, and use their $100 a week allowances to buy pot. The jocks and the sluts have wild drinking parties nearly every Friday which eventually turn into orgies. The school system is also bullshit. The students are expected to get perfect grades in everything, and if one obtains lower than the standards, the it's off to community college!
There are several defining gorups that make up the town of Marblehead. For example:
The OCD Gamer: They only go to school because they are required to by Massachusetts law. If they didn't have to, they spend all day palying Xbox Live and fapping to bad hentai.
The Emo-Fag: The ones that wear band shirts, studded belts, and pants so tight that thier feet inflate. They often whine about how bad it is to be an only child in a 3 story, 5 bedroom house with their own souped up electronic collection and a constant source of money. Man, life sucks.
The Jock: The competitive sports athletes who follow one code:
"Party, drink, eat, fuck, repeat." They usually recieve their own sports car for their 16th birthday and listen to nothing but shitty "gansta" rap. I'll remember to tip them after they've filled up my car.
The slut: The girl that talks about a million words per minute, comapre how many times they gave head at summer camp (I think the record is 4), and are the number one consumers of Yaz. Some get good grades, but most of them can't even locate Iraq on a world map. They talk in broken ebonics (yes, it's possible), the length of their skirts matches their IQ, and they wear a good inch of make-up to hide their excessive acne.
So, all in all, don't go to Marblehead. It's a waste of time, money, and you'll just end up unstatisfied. Go somewhere awesome in New England, like Portland, NH, VT, Boston, Springfield, ANYWHERE BUT FUCKING MARBLEHEAD!
Marblehead sucks more than a Dyson.
A heinously preppy destination for second homeowners who like to go play sailor during the summer. Marblehead reeks of conformity, money hoarding, bad habits on the land and water, and unemployed wive who suck their banker husbands dry. It's boring as hell, as are most or all of exclusive, wealthy seaside communities in New England.
"Honey, what's the wealthiest, most boring place you can think of within an hour of Boston?"
"Gee, I guess Marblehead."
"Great, that's where I'd us to buy a 1.5 million dollar mansion."
"I think that's a great idea, hon."
Marblehead Is a small town in massachusetts where the culture is based in the students of Marblehead High School getting fucked up. Marblehead has some of the best bud on the east coast, and kids these days have started smoking in 7th grade. If you are over the age of twelve in marblehead you probably know at least three dealers who can get to you at any given moment. Most kids are mole fiends, and plenty kids pop xans or take addies. But its not hard to get along with kids in Marblehead, if you are chill they will be chill to you.
kid 1" I need to get some bacco dude, i'm trying to rip some moles rn!"
Kid 2 "Too bad you have to be 21 in marblehead to buy cigs."
A soldier in the army or army jrotc cadets it came from the chrome dome helmet which looks like a marble cut in half
Salior: look at that marblehead lol
A town north of Boston, Massachusetts. Pretentious rich yuppies and their pretentious rich children. If you look hard enough there are some down-to-earthers. Extremely liberal. Lots of druggies. Opioids and heroin common. Public schools are good but overcrowded; the middle school doesn't have air conditioning. Summer = rich, tan, blond people walking their Golden Retriever Tucker, hanging out on a Grady White, or taking stereotypical white girl pics at Devereaux Beach (it's trash, go to Wingaersheek). Winter = rich, Canada Goose-clad people walking their Golden Retriever Tucker, skiing at Sunday River/Sugarbush, or buying bread and milk for the next nor'easter. There are parents jogging around 25/8 as if they don't have jobs. Teens are judgy and privileged. Anyone who does not own Lululemon, Vineyard Vines or Canada Goose is frowned upon. Typical Marblehead family includes father named Mike: lawyer, 6'0". Mother named Sarah: real estate agent, 5'7", dyed blonde hair. Daughter named Grace: 16, dirty-blond hair, wears Lululemon yoga pants 25/8. Son named Jackson: 12, pairs Nike sneakers with khakis, plays Fortnite. Dog named Tucker: Golden Retriever/Doodle, gets a bath every 4 days because Sarah is a neat freak. Drivers are horrendous and are constantly texting or calling. Common cars: Gray Honda Pilot, black Acura MDX, white/gray/black/navy Mercedes GLC, white/black/navy/red Suburban. Sports include football, basketball, lacrosse, field hockey, skiing, sailing, and golf.
Kid 1: "Hey, wanna walk around downtown Marblehead?"
Kid 2: "Sure, as long as we don't get hit by the amazingly bad drivers or get pushed off the nonexistent sidewalks by a cranky jogger."
Kid 1: "You know what, let's stay home and play Fortnite."
Where kids drink in the woods by the police station and there moms get fucked by their husbands best friends
Jeff - “Im going to marblehead tonight bobby for a donkey punch with a milf
Bobby - “hell yea man hit her good”