A fork of Rural Dictionary
When you wake up after a night of heavy drinking and your bowel movements are both urgent and diarrhea. Can last beyond your first movement.
I woke up this morning with The schlitz because I drank a whole 24 pack,
The creation of a new orifice in a person's body, followed by intercourse with the incision.
Don't fall asleep at that party, those dudes will totally schlitz you.
The sound your dick makes when you bring it in at too steep an angle during sex, and it pops out of the girl's vagina.
That was the loudest schlitz I've ever heard.
When you drink too much beer and then later poop your pants.
I got drunk last night on beer and Schlitzed my pants after I passed out. Don't drink that nasty beer - you'll Schlitz yer pants! That zombie smells like he Schlitzed his pants.
A slur for protestants. Typically white-European protestants. Unlike 'Cracker' this word is actually considered offensive and has been a catalyst for many fist fights. There is no known tie to 'schlitz' brewing company although the connection is unfortunate.
"I heard Jake went to a Creed concert. What a schlitz."