A fork of Rural Dictionary
A nice guy that teaches me my Torah portion so I can have a big Bar Mitzvah party when I am 13. I like him but wow, my Rabbi also can be a real Scrooge too. He told us and my parents, that part was bad, that there was no Santa Claus. So, I wrote a letter to Yenta Claus instead. What ever you do, just don't tell him about Yenta Claus. Ya, being Jewish is cool and I like lighting candles, eating latkes and all. But what about the Toys? What about that? I am a good kid too and am sick of being told we don't get a Santa!
Whatever you do or say or think, just don't be a Scrooge tell Rabbi Ebenezer that Yenta Claus is coming to my house! Or I'll get really mad and marry a pretty Shiska when I grow up.
a jewish teacher, a leader of a jewish community, can be either a man OR a woman, contrary to beliefs of crazy old charedi men in jerusalem
person a "I went and talked to my rabbi today" person b " oy and what did he say?" person a "that i shouldn't kvell so much" person b "what a wise man"
The term Rabbi is only supposed to be used for special people. If you are called Rabbi that means you are high in power and are very sophisticated. There is the King Rabbi (RR), and his partners. Everyone has an inner Rabbi and can release it anytime. If someone is releasing his Rabbi GTFO cause there is a possibility of death. To release your Rabbi throw your arms in the air, tilt your hands in opposite directions outward, then proceed to yell sharply and followthrough to make weird faces. After you release your Rabbi you need to charge up, the fastest ways to charge up faster are: Eat Turkey Pesto Rolls, Listen to "I Want It That Way", by the Backstreet Boys, or listen to "Sweet but Psycho" by Ava Max, wear Reckless merchandise, and steal hoodies from your local High School Orchestra.
OMG... He is releasing his Rabbi! Dude... I think he is a Rabbi!