A fork of Rural Dictionary
You are part of a society that is bound by nobody and no toilet paper shortages. Everyone loves you and you’re the one of the coolest people to exist
Congratulations to you if you use a Bidet!
Hey did you hear that Mark’s apart of the bidet group? That’s best thing I’ve heard in the past ten years!
A term coined by professional shit poster (and Youtuber) Jeff Holiday, a Finnish bidet is taking a shit in the middle of a blizzard, and letting your body heat melt the frost on your ass in order to wash yo ass (Tariq Nasheed style)
Bertha didn't wipe her ass after taking a shit in the her outhouse in the middle of a blizzard, she just Finnish Bidet'd it
Sometimes when you take a crap at home, you realize one of two things; 1: there is no toilet paper to be found and no one to get it for you or 2: your crap was so disgusting that toilet paper will be no match for it at all. A "Hillbilly Bidet" is when you forsake the use of toilet paper altogether, get up off the toilet and proceed straight to the shower to clean yourself off.
Dude, I got such ridiculous food poisoning that I didn't even attempt to wipe...just went straight to the shower for a hillbilly bidet.
A word pertaining to a creepy p dough US usurper of the White House named Joe Biden who has unnatural relations with girls in his extended family.
Bidet just missile striked a dozen innocent women and children in Afghanistan.
Giving yourself a bidet
When you poop and the toilet water splashes up at your butthole
Guy 1: I just gave myself a bidet!
Guy 2: you must’ve had a huge poop!
When a person is giving another a blumpkin (oral sex while the receiver is on the toilet) and the giver initiates a rim job on the receiver.
She gave him a bidet in the bathroom an hour ago