A fork of Rural Dictionary
Someone that spends more time masturbating than having a life.
"im not talking to some fucking mattress humper"
A Scotsman
The tight-fisted haggis humpers queued up outside Lidls for hours when they heard kestrel lager was on special offer.
The bumper that cushions the strawberry jelly and chocolate pudding factory from any who may try to enter.
Damn, my humper bumper is sore after last nights boning
Most commonly used in 'Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six Siege'. Somebody who spends defence preround proned, watching a drone hole.
"There's a hole humper on site"
Someone who actively seeks out sexual experiences with someone who has mental health issues
Going to the bar to pick up drunk women and take advantage of them, makes you a real heathen humper.
Someone that dedicates all his time, power and free time into work. Just to gain more and more money but then in the end never spend it. These people usually end up all alone and never get happy in life.
My son is such a money humper... i just wish he would find himself a good girl!