A fork of Rural Dictionary
monotonous office environment characterized by white collar slaves wasting there lives in pseudo-offices with four foot walls while slowly morphing into zombies.
After 3 hours in the cubicle farm, i could feel my brain turning into a mushy mass of rotten pudding-like material.
When you wake up and feel engergized but as soon as you enter the work place, a wave of exhaustion runs over you and you have trouble staying awake for the rest of your work day. Amazingly, once you leave the hellish work atmosphere, you suddenly feel energized and ready to run a marathon.
As soon as I sat down at my desk this morning, cubicle coma came over me and I immediately passed out. An IV coffee drip could not pull me out of it but as soon as I walked out to go home, I felt like I could do an iron man.
A person who works long hours in a cubicle doing mundane work.
person 1: John can't come to poker tonight because he's workin' late.
Person 2: Damn, he's a cubicle warrior
An armless character in episode three of the Salad Fingers flash movies. He chases Salad Fingers home after he steals Milford's "nettle carrier". Milford spends hours bashing his head against the door of Salad Fingers' before he dies. Salad Fingers gives the now deceased man the name Milford, and invites him in for a glass of milk. Milford's wears an apron which says "BBQ" on the front, and a nametag with three stars on it, that tells people he is Harry, and "happy to help"
I think I'll call you...Milford Cubicle.
A vast expanse of contemporary office space outfitted with box-like, synthetic personal work environments comprised of approximately 3.3 sides and lacking doors and ceilings. These cubicles are easy and inexpensive to assemble and their lack of privacy promotes comraderie among a sea of anonymous co-workers. Notably, a cubicle farm is where middle managers are grown.
Once he started complaining about pain in his hands from typing, we transferred him to the most unbearable cubicle farm on campus with the hope that he'd quit before going on disability.
An dull person with a dead-end job in a corporate environment and little or no power to change his lifs life or ambitions to do so. Basically a cross between Milton and Michael from the movie Office Space.
Prima: Did you meet the new guy yet?
Secunda: Not yet, what's he like?
Prima: Not much to say.
Secunda: What do you mean?
Prima: He's a bit of a Cubicle Ken.
The psychological battle which ensues after becoming aware of someone in the toilet cubicle next to you and you suspect they're aware of you.
The pressure of knowing your 'opponent' can hear everything you do precipitates a battle over who can handle themselves the best in such a situation. It ultimately reflects your confidence and ability to take a shit.
While of course a cubicle duel is never discussed, certain rules can always be assumed:
1. Squeltchy farts, pebbledashing etc count against you - they simply reflect an inability to handle that Prawn Madras you had at lunch.
2. Splashback is essentially an own goal.
3. Bottling it, i.e. failing to lay anything down at all, results in instant disqualification - if you can't handle the pressure, get out of the kitchen (or shitter, as the case may be)
Cubicle duels can happen in any location, but are most likely to occur in the toilets at work, as most people don't have a cubicle-based shitting arrangement at home. When you're in a pub or club you rarely care, plus the ambient noise often drowns out the sound of detonating a 20 megaton monster fudge dragon.
This can add an extra dimension to the cubicle duel as you may know your opponent: seeing your enemy's face after you've beaten them can allow you to feel superior for the rest of the day, while having to look your defeater in the face can be hugely humiliating and may call for a half day.
<Shortly after entering a cubicle, you hear someone enter the cubicle next to you>
Your internal monologue: "Right, I've got a cubicle duel on my hands here. Must...not...make...embarassing...noises..."
Your anus: "Sqeak!"
Your internal monologue: "Fuck!"