A fork of Rural Dictionary
This term used when you are going to “fuck someone up” so hard that they cannot sit onself down for many months.
This term can also be used when you will fuck someone hard during sexual intercourse.
Harry said to James: “I’m going to batter you. Then I’ll batter yer mam”
Term used to rate your pissedness - somewhere between assholed and rumshoed.
I was royally batteret last night!
To masturbate or "whack off", whilst wearing a balaclava in the same room as your mate while he has sex with a girl. Often the "Phantom Batter" is hidden under a desk, under the bed or behind the curtains. Ultimately, the "Batter" needs to be hidden, all lights off and making sure to be very careful about how much noise he makes whilst rubbing one out.
By definition, its fine if your mate knows your in the room, but its only a "phantom bat" if the girl has no idea of the Phantoms presence, otherwise your just a broski having a toss.
Trev: "Michael was a Phantom Batter last night while i was giving it to Susan !"
Jason: "Haha, for real ?"
Michael: "Yeh bro, I was hiding under Trev's desk with a balaclava on ! She totally never saw me"
When a guy squirts a load of semen, also known as baby batter, he is shooting the batter or has shot the batter.
Shoot the batter already, my pussy is getting sore and I have to work tomorrow.
A bowel movement with the consistency of a chocolate Mister Softee ice cream cone.
It took nearly a whole roll of Charmin to address my booty batter in the restroom; must have been the clams casino and pesto.