Country Dictionary

A fork of Rural Dictionary

catholic

A set of beliefs, practices, and rites irrationally maintained by ignorance of the laws of nature or by faith in magic or chance.

My Grandmother is so Catholic that whenever she loses at cards, she turns her Virgin Mary statue towards the wall. That'll show her.

by not named Michael February 03, 2005

catholic

A term derived from the Greek words 'cathos' and 'licos'. Cathos refers to male genetelia, while licos refers to rapid tongue movement.

I don't want them Catholics anywhere near my children, especially my boys.

by Peter Long March 22, 2005

catholic

The church which sprang up in Rome during the time of Christ but not ordained by him. In the 1300-1600's anyone who was not Catholic was murdered by these "Godly" people. Yup. Torture chambers, iron maidens, thumbscrews, anal pears, the whole bit. Not to mention beheading and burning at the stake. The catholics DID NOT however, persecute atheists (surprise?) Protestant religions, despite getting whacked out of existence as soon as the Catholics found out of their being, finally managed to prosper in the 1600's and eventually found their way to America. Then the Catholics showed up... *chop* *chop* The Catholics also support homosexual activities. A "live as you please and then confess" lifestyle and such. You can sin all you want and confessing will make it legit. When monks/priests and other "laymen" take a vow of celebacy, it is only in regards to women, children/young boys are not off limits.

"Man, those catholic schoolgirls look fine with their uniforms! You know she's a freak underneath it all!" "Dude, you go out with a catholic girl? Your ass woulda been ashes for that not too many years ago" "So, how long has your little cousin been going to confession? Let's check his anus and see how loose it is, you catch him"

by Clinton Washington May 24, 2006

catholic

a religeon were every thing is a sin, even taking a much needed shit.

Bobby: "God dammit mom, i gotta take a SHIT!!!" Mother: "I'm sorry Bobby, but now that i got a new catholic boyfriend, everything is a sin" Bobby: "Fuck that!, im goin in!!!" Boyfriend: "You know your going straight to hell!"

by diseased sheep July 29, 2005

catholic

Catholic: The following is the definitive answer to the what is a Catholic. 1.)a homophobic person who renounces homosexuality yet endorses pedophilia committed by it priest... There have been thousands of priest who have been found to have abused children sexually but have not been arrested or received any punishment for their actions. The Vatican is aware of the miss-deeds of its priest yet refuses to punish said priest and continues to object to the GLBT community at large. 2.) A person who follows a cult that was responsible for the merciless killing in inquisitions- Spanish inquisition and other such acts where it is said countless millions of people of other faiths had been burned at the stake by Jesuit priest and others. 3,.) A person who follows a violent confrontational religion that seeks control of every aspect of the world from government to individual. 4.) A person who follows Homosexual faith even though their church and the Vatican deny the homosexual nature of its priesthood. 5.)A person who follows a faith who history is written in the blood of innocent victims. It is rumored that the Vatican has the name and location of every human born stored in a large computer. It is further rumored that the Vatican seeks to implant all people with an ident chip 7-8 days after they are born to “identify” a person when moving from one area to another or to track people. The technology used is similar to what is found in pet I.D. chips.

Example of a catholic: And overly religious person who objects to any other point of view and who is as spineless as a jelly fish. Example of the Catholic system of belief: A religion that is violent and intolerant. Most of its followers lack the ability to think for themselves and are often referred to as sheep

by AnitChrist September 10, 2006

catholic

Religion that worships "Da Pope", apparently because of his big hat. But we all know that the pope has a cool hat because it has to keep his life support hidden from everyone.

Hey, look! It's Da Pope! Maybe if someone sneezes he'll finally die.

by Jebus March 26, 2005

catholic

the worst, most hypocritical, homophobic, unwelcoming, illogical, child molestation filled religion you will ever see. enjoy your religion, old conservative white men.

“i hate being catholic,” jimmy said. “me too,” responded his friend who also despises their religion.

by ugly antichrist January 12, 2019