A fork of Rural Dictionary
Fucking your girlfriend and yelling "four" golf means that you are an asshole
An moderately challenging "game" that only dillusional, out of shape enthusiasts refer to as a "sport", in order to fool themselves into believing that their participation somehow makes them "athletes", even though the pertruding beer gut and lack of any strenuous physical activity imply otherwise. Golfers generally claim that because this "game" requires hand eye coordination and proper form to excel, that justifies "golf" being a sport (note: nothing really about athletic prowess and physical fitness and conditioning). Given that criteria, we should expect to see our first terminally ill, overweight, 90 year-old, carton-a-day smoking, television addicted grand sports champion on the cover of "Sports Illustrated" in the near future.
"You're an Olympic Triathlete in top physical condition with ten gold medals? Well, I'm a golfer. We should hang out and trade stories since we have so much in common. Let me drink the rest of my Budweiser and finish my potato chips and fried chicken first, though. Oh, you're going to the gym? What's a "gym"?"
Right above NASCAR and just below pro wrestling in the "what is and isn't a real sport" spectrum. I mean, seventy year old men still play it! That is not a sport. The commercial was right, golf would be a lot better if it were more like hockey.
Some woman streaking was the most exciting thing ever to happen on a golf course.
The most arrogant sport in existence. Played by old rich white men (and Tiger Woods) in their spare time. Equal only to greveyards in terms of their collossal waste of space that could be used for housing and/or other more productive purposes
Greedy Old Limpdick Fun A recreational activity for conservative white males that will hopefully become non-existant in a few decades. Involves knocking a ball around with the goal of getting it into different holes. The game is played on a golf course which is a waste of more land space than Wal-Mart Stores.
Father: Hey son, what do you say we play some golf together and have some father and son bonding time? Son: No thanks dad. I'm not a baby boomer.