Country Dictionary

Someone whose car in the driveway is propped up on old IBM AT cases instead of concrete blocks.

bubba: is dat car ever gonna run agin?
htrn: i dunno, i sold da wheelz fr beer money.

Someone who has a T-3 line running to his outhouse.

bubba: say, where d'y'all keep yer sears catalogue?
htrn: hit's rat chair under da router.

Someone who uses a spreadsheet to keep track of which reletives he's slept with...and how much they charged him.

bubba: how much do you pay fr sex?
htrn: a nickel's a nickel, a penny's a penny, kinfolk pussy is as good as any.

Someone who thinks da Information Superhighway might be a good place to hunt fr road kill.

bubba: mmmnn...boy howdy, these chips are good
htrn: hang on an i'll go back out an scrape some more off da road fur ya

Someone who patches da holez in da roof of hiz trailer with free aol discs.

bubba: hot damn! version 9 is here at last!
htrn: good! git up thar on da roof & fix it before it starts ta rain agin.

Someone who over-clocks hiz e-lec'rik beer cooler.

bubba: yer processor iz melting down!
htrn: dat's cuz I re-routed my liquid nitrogen system ta keep mah beer cold.

Someone whose computer mouse sports a big chrome grille and a pair of "back off" mud flaps.

bubba: why doez yer baseball cap say DEC instead of CAT?
htrn: d00d...RTFM!