A fork of Rural Dictionary
The act of being, and acting like a wanker.
Also included, subtle wankerism. The variety of wankerism where people don't understand that you're being a total wanker and taking the piss out of them, until a little while after the said act of wankerism has been performed.
Oh that guy Kim, he says things all the time that appear to be funny, but afterwards you realise he's just being a wanker. He's a master of wankerism.
Literally, wanker is accepted to mean "one who masturbates". The frequency of masturbation required to confer the status of "wanker" upon an individual is open to interpretation, as the insult is used as a catch-all category to include fools, buffoons, idiots etc. They're all wankers - the lot of 'em. The cop who caught you speeding, the politician you just saw on TV, those insipid tossbags moaning about global warming. All wankers.
Rarely, the word is used by some to refer to the penis itself, though this usage doesn't seem to be widely known.
"Paul is such a wanker - he killed a toddler while driving drunk. He's due in court on Tuesday."
"Which one of you wankers ate my schnitzel?"
"Drop your wankers and get over here, I need a hand with this..."
Someone who tries to jerk you off under the table unbeknownst to you. (Thus to criticize the analysis given by the definition of anonymous on May 31 2004, the original sense might not have referred to self pleasuring, or a useless self-pleasuring fool at all, but rather makes reference to giving a less than pleasurable wank on someone else's knob. This is lost on most average wankers on the street today, who hear the overused term at too young an age, and then never can get past the giggle factor of picturing someone diddling on their own willy once they learn that simplistic meaning, never thereafter able to fathom the sordid depth of someone edging someone else who is captive against their will. ) A cheat of sorts. An unscrupulous or uncaring person. Slimy power player. "Prick" as opposed to a "Dick."
Bob told me how lucky I was to be dating Karen; then the wanker tried to make out with her at my party!
That wanker Stew has me on edge!
A minority group that admit that they masturbate often.
John just came out as a wanker. I'm happy for him.