A fork of Rural Dictionary
The guys who loves you when everybody else thinks you're an asshole
Jesus loves you..., but everybody else thinks you're an asshole
The Lord and Savior of the world. I wish all of those who mock him on this site eventually find what he was and what he said was all true...
"For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, so that whoever believes in him shall not die but have eternal life." - John 3:16
Some holy guy with a cool beard
Wasn’t Jesus that one guy who fucking died and came back to life
(This definition coming from a Jew) May or may not be the son of God, but still a good guy with a straight message. But his messages were horribly misinterpreted by millions to mean that if you don't believe in him, then you are a sinner and must be attacked until you accept his religion, actually not his religion, his followers religions (Jesus was jewish). Eventually was nailed to a piece of wood and killed by Romans. Apperantly resurrected, (which in present day we celebrate by painting eggs, wtf!?). And uhh, I don't remember the rest, well that parts not important. Anyway, his message was get along. Christians need to chill with that high and mighty shit.
Jesus: Get along Hitler: Kill Jews? Okay! Jesus: No you retards!
A nice guy who taught love, kindness, tolerance, etc. Sacrificed himself because we're all giant penises. Now people claim to follow his teachings, but just screw them over.
Oh look, there's Jesus over there! The world's gonna end.
JESUS TAKE THE WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL
"OH MY GOD, IS THAT JESUS? "YES MY SON, NOW BEND OVER"
The guy, whom most Christian girls are overjesused about.
Sandra: I love Jesus SOOO much. He is my friend! Kate: Yes, so is mine! I really love Jesus. Tom: You should probably find some REAL friends, gals... Kate & Sandra: -______-