A fork of Rural Dictionary
Did you hear that Cecilia was a mormon
Damn, she should go back to Utah
A main focus of the church of Jesus’ Christ of Latter Day Saints is on families. One purpose of their temples is to be eternally sealed as a family so you can be together forever. Resurrection part 2(heaven) is made up of three little groups depending how you lived your life; celestial, terrestrial, and telestrial.
Celestial is the highest heaven: it’s closer to god. you only get go there if you are sealed in the temple, have children, follow the word of wisdom, and if you repent for your sins. If you don’t have kids or get married, have fun in the terrestrial kingdom, especially if you’re gay. “sexual relations are proper only between a man and a woman who are legally and lawfully wedded” meaning if you’re gay, the church expects you to suck it up and shove it. Next up is the telestrial kingdom, the place farthest from god. if you lived a good life and followed the Ten Commandments, but not the word of wisdom you go there. Hell is the absence of god’s presence. You go there if you get ‘led astray by satan’, aka leave the church.
Overall the Mormon church is based on lies, and only adjusts its core beliefs so it doesn’t get canceled. They have a good community that focuses on making sure even if you want to leave all your friends are from the church and they would just pity you for leaving. The families all put up a front to look good for each other so they can do something other than cry or make a sports metaphor about god in front of the whole church.
Me: This is a rant and it barely scratches the surface. Go to the church website, lds.org, for their values, they have a dictionary thing that states their beliefs on certain topics. For stuff against the church, the ces letter by Jeremy runnels is a good place to start. Another good spot is YouTube interviews with Ex-Mormons.
Self righteous douchebags who will be your best friend until you join the cult and everyone then treats you like any imperfections they can nit-pick off of you are mortal sins
Mormon people are only after your tithes
A combination of Dayquil plus Nyquil.
(Courtesy of EIS)
A: Did you hear about Justin?
B; No, why?
A: He got all fucked up on a mormon speedball and streaked through a police station singing "funky town",,,
B: Fucking Mormon Speedballs, Not even once.
The Dark Mormons are a religious empire that zealously and violently follows and propagates its religion DLDS. An absolutely fanatic group that believes life is antagonistic to the natural state of the universe. They intend to convert or kill all who oppose them.
"It is said the comet always proceeds the Dark Mormon."
A person who is a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Later Day Saints, but only follows the rules that are convent to their lifestyle. A jack Mormon, but with a fancy haircut.
Starbucks is the favorite gathering place a for Millennial Mormon after a long day at church.