A fork of Rural Dictionary
NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH THE AUSTRALIAN FOOTBALL LEAGUE.
Asphyxiation from Laughter.
Asphyxia or asphyxiation (from Greek α- ”without” and σφύξις sphyxis, “heartbeat”) is a condition of severely deficient supply of oxygen to the body that arises from being unable to breathe normally.
You: OMG LOLOLOL DYING OF LAUGHTER…
Me: OMG AFL AFL AFL…
An Australian sport
Which is very bad and should not exist
Person 1: 'I love to play AFL!
Person 2: 'I hope you die'
The best fucking sport in the world that only Australians play
COLLINGWOOD IS THE BEST
AFL is for mad lads
where the best ro football niggas at, fuck a damn "dfa" "lcfl" "efl" "rfl", with trash ass bots.
Nigga it's that AFL Mentality
Form of AFL, also known as International Fagball.
A term which refers to the sport and fraternity of Australian Rules Football outside of the Australian continent, as well as the tragic and laughable attempts of this commuinity to expand the game beyond the southern land.
Governed and overseen by a lightweight organisation known as the International Australian Football Council (IAFC) which is widely famous for its extensive collection of funny photographs.
Not to be mistaken with International Rules, an equally poor attempt to give AFL some level of international credibility.
International AFL is played unprofessionally (see: Park Footy) in various global powerhouses such Narau, Denmark, Canada and Senegal. Denmark, home to the largest AFL premiership outside Australia, enjoys enormous levels of success with a reletively low ex-pat player percentage of 99.80% and the largest average attendences of any country in the world, excluding Australia, with a figure of 62. The thriving Pacific island of Narau (pop: 11,000) is also the only country on Earth where AFL is considered the national sport.
Despite the fact that virtually every game of International AFL is played on open farm paddocks and at an inconceivably low standard, the usual AFL mannerisms are still present (see: Scrotum tasting, Arse banditry, Felching, Sausage party).
Half-decent athletes are extremely scarce with obese, bald, uncoordinated shirtlifters seen as the norm.
International AFL is often mistaken by AFL aficionados in southern Australia, primarily Victoria (see: Mexico), as a legitimate federation of participating nations which rivals various other particular sports on an international level eg. Rugby League.
The most famous of International AFL teams is New Zealand's national side. Are known for their outrageously homosexual and insulting rendition of the "Haka". Members of New Zealand's home crowds are said to apparently pull out their pork swords and pleasure themselves during the rendition as a symbol of national unity and pride (see: 21-cum salute).
Known priority International AFL expansion targets:
- Djbuti
- Siberia
- Christmas Island
- Greenland
- Botswana
Person 1: "Hey Digby, did you go down to TEAC Oval the other day to watch the International AFL Cup Final?"
Person 2: "I sure did, Tristen. Free entry, and I only had to share the ground with 15 other people".
Person 1: "Gee I love my International AFL"
Generally defined as a man with <90IQ, confused about sport and nearly always 100% homosexual. An AFL fan will spend about most of their days hating on NRL, the real Australian sport, or other than that, lining up on Welfare Payments outside Centrelink.
What is AFL? Imagine a soccer goal post, remove the crossbar so goals can be shot 10 metres over the top, quadruple the width of the goals and remove the goalie. A typical AFL fan lacks the required skill to kick a goal under such conditions, which even the mentally and physically disabled find easy to achieve. To make the game homosexually friendly, a point is rewarded for missing a goal 50 metres in width, frankly more points should be rewarded for missing goals due the sheer impossibility of the task.
The majority of the AFL fan base resides in Melbourne where straightened hair on men are seen as normal by the populace.
AFL Fan: Fuck bro I missed the AFL grand finals last night!
Real man: Maybe it's cause you're sucking on cock?
AFL Fan 2: I heard AFL is a lot better than watching grass grow..
Real man: Nah mate sounds like you're mistaken.
AFL Fan 3: Fuck I wish there was gay porn where I can jack off with right now!
Real man: You're in luck cunt, the AFL is on.
AFL Fan 4: Which team do you root for in the AFL?
AFL Fan 5: I'll root for a team after you take your cock out of my ass.
These umpires are blind and never make the right calls. Also known to favour the home team.
The afl umpires are known for costing teams games
‘Geez, the umpires really lost us the game tonight’