A fork of Rural Dictionary
COOLER THAN YOU!! When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding. Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush. Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits. Chuck Norris is my Homeboy. When Chuck Norris looks in the mirror nothing appears. There can never be a second Chuck Norris Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg. When Chuck Norris wants popcorn, he breathes on Nebraska. Chuck Norris invented the apple. Chuck Norris beat the Sun in a staring contest. P is for Chuck Norris, as is every other letter of the alphabet.
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Must be spelled with all capital letters in order to be correct, or you'll be roundhouse kicked through the fifth dimension. While Jesus was the son of God, CHUCK NORRIS was the father of god. Some facts include: Jesus can walk on water, inpressive? CHUCK NORRIS can swim through earth. CHUCK NORRIS is so straight, he never touched a single man in his life, whenever he gave a man a roundhouse kick, he was merely kicking the space in between his foot and his victim's face. (like in the movies, but all victims still died from massive head trauma.) CHUCK NORRIS can divide by 0. CHUCK NORRIS is watching...always. CHUCK NORRIS's daily excercise routine includes wrestling bears, holding back airplanes with his bear hands, pushing trains, and lifting mountains with ease. CHUCK NORRIS was born 10 March 1940, the Cold War ended 11 March 1940, just saying.
This concludes my definition of chuck norris. (A dimensional rift opens before me as the all mighty roundhouse kick of justice bends reality itself while almost making contact with my face. Don't forget to capitalize! )
GOD DID NOT CREAT THE BIG BANG CHUCK NORRIS DID WHEN HE LIT HIS FART IN THE VACHUME OF SPACE
CHUCK NORRIS
A less than hardcore actor who once starred in such shitty films as Sidekicks, Invasion USA and Missing in Action. He is most know for his ridiculous display of round house kicks and poor dialogue on the show Walker Texas Ranger. >or< A washed up actor who got his second wind based upon a very large list of (at one time) humorous jokes and facts(If you will) about him, that after being repeated from here to Nantucket far too many times, became old and played out and down right NOT FUNNY ANYMORE
Chuck Norris' tears cur-- oh wait, you've heard this one before? Yeah me too about a million times...
A cyborg with the power of invincibility... when on screen. Outside he's quite a softie. Some jobless guys from USA went on to raise him to urban legend status just because he was the first Usian to do roundhouse kicks on the big screen. Now there's a running joke about him being stronger than all the gods together and doing eveything beyond impossibility. Non-serious webs like Uncyclopedia and Urban Dictionary get loads of entries about that unfunny joke.
"Earthquakes are actually Chuck Norris's leg trembling when bored" - Yeah, yeah...
The act of excessively repeating an uninspired or less than mediocre attempt at humor until it is beaten totally lifeless and becomes cringeworthy.
State Farm's marketing department must've have been trawling the shallow end of the gene pool when they thought it would be a good idea to chuck norris that fucking falcon commercial.
Some old dude. He sucks. aka Chuck Whoris.
I kicked Chuck Norris down the stairs and he broke a hip. Then, I beat him with his cane.