A fork of Rural Dictionary
Something you have ready to scare off a bad blind date.
If you play it, they will run.
another attempt by greedy men in suits to cash in on something. Basically "Christian Rock" is just another product that is pushed to be sold by men in suits sitting behind desks who are saying, "You stupid Christian youth, this is your music". Another product to be sold, conning you out of your money. Most Christian Rock has rock trappings but the melodies and song structures are lame, derivative and not very original or exciting. The lyrics are usually preachy, pompous, overbearing and propagandistic. True songwriters write from the heart, not according to some format or formula. If you want to hear entertaining rock'n'roll that covers themes that Christians can relate to, there is plenty of it. U2 is an excellent example, they ROCK. Also, Pink Floyd, Genesis, the Ramones, the Beatles, Rush, Peter Gabriel and many other big name acts cover mature topics, yes, even with religious references and inspiration. Jesus can be found in everything, if you look hard enough.
Christian rock ain't nothing but propaganda for right wing fundies who care about the "message" more the music. It ain't really too different, in that aspect, from so-called Nazi rock. It's just propaganda, a product. Most of it is really just lame "adult" pop anyway. "You Light Up My Life" is one of the most goopy and hideous pieces of trash to ever hit the charts and airwaves. "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" is a great slab of "Jesus rock" because it comes from the HEART, like rock'n'roll is supposed to do in the first place.
1. An oxymoron. 2. A genre of music created by teens who wanted to play rock n' roll and still be considered good kids. Urged on by churches, parents, and the man, this genre has grown in recent years. The title, Christian Rock is false for the fact that rock is made up of drugs, sex, and rock n' roll, while the actual music contains little or none of these. Christian Rock tends to contained watered down and weak instrumentals, centering around lyrics. Comparable to soft rock. With few exceptions, such as Switchfoot and POD, Christian Rock has been and always will be a weak, lame stepchild of Rock. This is a shame because Christian music could be great, and yet it is crap. For any people who love true rock such as myself, and have good taste in music will not even listen to this weak crap. Being Christian doesn't mean you have to listen to that worthless shit.
Bob:Hi! Do you like Christian Rock! Dave:No I listen to good bands like Led Zeppelin and AC/DC. Bob: Thousand Foot Crutch is the best! Dave: Eat me.
A sub-genre of rock that will always be second-rate due to atheists' superior headbanging skills.
Guy 1: Hey wanna listen to some Christian rock? Guy 2: Sorry, dude, atheists are just too good at headbanging. Guy 1: How come they're so good? Guy 2: Christians believe in standing upright at all times, like Jesus. Guy 1: Jesus wasn't standing upright when he was dragging his cross. Guy 2: Yeah, well, look what happened to him. Guy 1: So you're saying that lack of faith in a divine power will make one more hardcore? Guy 2: For a beginner you're pretty good at disbelief. Kudos.
Music like rock, but centers on praising jesus or god or whoever the hell compels people to write songsof this nature. Starting out like a Bon Jovi ballad, songs from this genre usually tricks listeners into thinking it is regular rock, but halfway through the song the band breaks into prayer. Most listeners feel betrayed by this sudden change in lyrics and change to a different song of a different genre. The rest saw it coming and enjoy listening to it for some reason. If this depicts you, you are either an old person, or are to sheltered to know what good music sounds like.
what a christian rock song may sound like... "I woke up in the morning and I got myself some oatmeal and I put some raisins on it and CHRIST IS GODDDDDD CHRIST IS GODDDDDD CHRIST IS GODDDDDD" Mike Birbiglia, The Oatmeal Song
A genre fueled by various degrees of rock music-loving Christians. Often criticized for bland or mushy lyrics, mostly on the grounds that profanity is not present. It is found in one of the most misunderstood CD aisles at your local Wal-mart. The critics usually have no idea what they are talking about, since the only music that they've heard is the kind played on the "Contemporary Christian" radio station. The real rock music is never played on the Contemporary Christian stations, hence its followers are either broke from buying CDs or are sadly breaking the commandment "Thou shall not steal." Topics addressed in Christian Rock include all those found in regular rock music, but with a biblical twist. Many songs cannot be identified as part of Christian music, except for the challenge that they propose to society.
Person 1: I love Christian Rock, especially Switchfoot! Person 2: Switchfoot is Christian Rock? I didn't know that. Well, I'm never listening to them again. I'll stick to polluting my mind with worldly ideals, thank you very much.