Country Dictionary

A fork of Rural Dictionary

Essex Girl

A typically cheap, promiscuous, unintelligent and tarty girl who is obsessed with fake tan, tacky clothing, and shagging blokes indiscriminantly.

She is usually lathered in copious amounts of orange-tinted fake tan, sometimes streaky and patchy, a short miniskirt or dress that barely covers her butt, ridiculously uncomfortable stilleto heels, cleavage fully exposed, very often over-processed and peroxided hair, and nearly always fake nails and accessory-overload. When she and her mates go out, there is seemingly only one purpose for it: snagging blokes and shagging them.

Whilst her clothes and attitude display simplistic, loud and vulgar hooker, her attitude tends to be arrogant, bitchy, expletive-ridden and prone to starting verbal and physical fights with other women. She is obsessed with her own looks, vain and very competitive.

You can spot her a mile away, usually in a small or larger group of other Essex women, eyeing off the men in bars, and tend to target potentially rich men who they can 'bag' and getting shouted free drinks by. She often pauses behind the bar next to a man before ordering and desperately tries to flirt with him in hope he will buy her a drink so that she doesn't have to open her purse.

Jock: mate, what did you get up to last night?
Dai: took home an Essex Girl, brov. not even one drink and she was mine. shagged me silly. gave me blowies in the car home. Starting to get a bit worried though...I've developed an itch down there...

by Cool_Cat August 16, 2010

Essex Girl

The type of girl that goes on yubo to look for something ✨meaningful✨ only to get their heartbroken and look like an idiot in the process.

Bro 1- “Ay bro are you still chatting to that Essex Girl”
Bro 2- “G. She wants to link man and watch a film at odeon but I just want a beat styll

by Buxton water bottle March 25, 2021

Essex girl

A (young) woman from the England county of Essex. In popular mythology an Essex girl is supposedly stupid and obsessed with sex.

Q: How do you know when an Essex girl has an orgasm?
A: She drops her kebab.

by Dunky Oggins November 22, 2003

Essex girl

a "common" (or very common) girl, not very bright, both overdressed (in cheap jewellery and tacky fashion) and underdressed (displaying her assets), always materialistic (loves shopping), likes drinking heavily (alcopops will do), and fucks indiscriminately and like a bunny, preferably with guys with a bit of money and claahhhss, but after a few drinks ... well, has to ask her best mate "Who WAS that guy I was with last night, 'Chelle?"

Fred: I heard you scored last night.
Rob: Yeah, just an Essex girl though. What about you?
Fred: Just went home.
Rob: Oh yeah, I forgot Trish is an Essex girl too!

by kofi May 12, 2003

essex girl

often very fit girl from essex in england, many years ago were known as easy lays but due to people spreading this reputation they have all tightened up! well done you fucking idiots! However, it is still possible to lure them in with your nice car!

Lad: So what are you doing after here?
Essex girl: Going home
Lad: fancy coming for a spin in my cosworth?
Essex girl: Oh yes!

by Danofthepleasedwimmen October 14, 2006

Essex girl

blonde, dumb, easy, sleeps around, drunk every night, is known for being a slut, stupid, cheap, hair tight to head etc

man dat sket ova der,,,u can tell she a propa essex gal!

by Buff Stuff September 20, 2003

essex girl

Classically: a dumb, gum-chewing sexually promiscuous girl.
Of low intellect enhanced further with cheap clothing in the extreme; over accessorised with tacky jewellery, garish make-up, often, burnt/bleached hair (usually untidily and voluminously back-combed).Heavy smoker, frequently innebriated and carrier of numerous S.T.D.'s..
Arrogant, cocksure (in more ways than one..) irresponsible, self centred, will stop at nothing to bed young and eager men.Often heard in the early hours walking home, irritating the neighbourhood with noisy stiletto-heeled shoes.Tragic indeed.

I was in Southend again last night, ended up with a right dog! she was the classic essex girl (par excallance!)

by Inja February 19, 2008