A fork of Rural Dictionary
A Monkey Spanker is were a human spanks a monkey or ape with his hand.
Dang, that dude's a monkey Spanker.
A person who masterbates way too much.
Scott is the biggiest monkey spanker I no.
One who uses his left hand to jack, whack, choke the chicken, spank the monkey, attack the one-eyed purple-headed warrior or in other words, MASTURBATE! A lefty, per say May be a person that writes, hits, or even smokes with his right hand but gallops the old lizzard with his left hand. Also referred to as an S.P.M.P.
Kristine: So I used my teloscope last night and looked into Ray's window. Did you know that he is a South Paw Monkey Spanker? Derek: So I applied for this new job at the Home Depot, and my boss wanted to know if I was an S.P.M.P. and I'm all wtf? On occasion, though, I do, do the five kunckle shuffle with 'ol Lefty! Janet: Hey Bobby? Bobby: Yes Janet? Janet: Do you participate in genital stimulation via phallengetic motion with your left hand? Bobby: Why yes, I am an S.P.M.P.!