A fork of Rural Dictionary
Asian parents are the sole parental units and source of guidance for their children. Although often accepted and respected by their peers in the community as members of society, it is common knowledge among their children that they are actually controlling and manipulative with old fashioned ideals, ridiculously high expectations, and no care in the world for the actual dreams and desires of their progeny. Most, but luckily not all, Asian children are subject to the strict rulings constantly doled out by their parents. A traditional Asian upbringing will often include harsh rules which prevent children from ever being themselves or being with the few friends they are allowed to have, and will instead force upon them summers and free weekends anguishing over textbooks of material they are not expected to cover in years. Grades below an A are completely unacceptable and the children will be made aware of this well before they even begin school, as every exploit -from walking to talking-will be made a competition between children and the children of his parents peers. Addionally, Asian children are expected to do exceptionally in a great deal of extra-curriculars, most notably music and school clubs. Awards and honors are practically a must. Asian parents will provide eternal self-degradation due to the fact that they consistently compare their children to other equally suffering Asian children who succeeded after many miserable years of no fun and back-breaking studying. Most victims of this sort of abuse end up never feeling worthy of love or success, and never feel that they are "enough" for their parents. The method, admittedly, does work and so most Asian children do end up at some of the greatest schools. However, this is at the great cost of the children's emotional and mental stability -no doubt reflected in the incredible percentage of Asian students in depression or suicidal. Those who do make it through their higher education will be guilted by the antiquated sense of filial piety instilled within them by their parents and most likely seek a career in medicine or law as their parents wish.
Asian Parents: YOU'VE GOT NO POTENTIAL! LOOK AT THIS, A-?!?YOU'LL NEVER GET INTO HARVARD, OR PRINCETON! Child: Well, maybe I don't want to go to Harvard! Maybe I want to go to art school! Parents: NO MOTIVATION! YOU ARE NOTHING! No one with sense would pursue a career like art. Art will not feed your old parents when we are old and retired. Stephanie Wang has more work than you, but SHE STILL PLAYS VIOLIN ALL THE TIME, AND NOW SHE'S GOING TO YALE! Child: Well, I'm not perfect. You caught me! Parents: HOW DARE YOU, YOU LAZY GOOD FOR NOTHING-!
naive, reckless, emotionless, careless, ignorant people...usually. on rare occasions, you have the asian mother who is somewhat whitewashed and doesnt giv a fuck cuz she has her perfect son to worry about instead of paying attention ot her dumbass daughter. but the father fits the stereotypes 110% of the time. grade scale: A- acceptable B- bullshit C- cunt D- death F- there is no such thing SAT: 2400- well no one gets this score 2300- brags about you to other asian parents 2200- expected 2100- why didnt you get a 2200? 2000- maybe a U.C. 1900- okay 1800- alright 1700- acceptable 1600- fail anything below 1600 and you will be disowned and promised to be kicked out the day you turn 18
kid #1: why cant u go to the bonfire tonight? kid #2: i'm not allowed to stay out late...even though im 17. kid #1: oh thats right i forgot u were asian. kid #2: im just gonna smoke a bowl in my room with the door locked so i can escape for a few hours. kid #1: are you grounded kid #2: no. i have asian parents.
a strict, nosey, noisy, child-controlling and dangerous parents that has issue controlling their feelings, cant control their feelings and gets mad easily, some of them are abusive, or weird, or annoying, or noisy, some of them doesnt know limerence and happiness, some of them are nerdy who says that math is fun, they all are kind of lemarence those are grades compared to their opinion (if 13+) S (doesnt exist but if it existed): acceptable A+ : acceptabl A : kinda acceptable A- : kinda not suprised B+ : dissapointed B : grounded for 1 week B- : grounded for a month C+ : no electronics until A C : no electronics (permanent) C- : no electronics and always study D+ no holidays for a month D : no holidays for 6 month D- : no food for 1 days E+ : will slap you E : will beat you E- will beat the absolute fuck outta you F+ : will fuck you F : youre fucked up F- : beat you until you have 42 bruises (fictional below) G+ : beat the fuck outta you, no electronics, no food, no holidays, no breaks, study forever G : stun you G- : will electric shock you 2 times
H+ : almost kill you H : will pepper-spray on your whole face H- : will put you in electric chair I+ : will turn your head I : splash boiling water on your stomach I- : put you in cold ice water bath for 30 minutes J+ : splash liquid nitrogen on your both hands J: throw you outta window J- : throw a volcano rock on your face as hard as they can K+ :you lay and your asian parents put something extremely heavy on your face K : put you in liquid nitrogen bath for 15 minutes K- : splash liquid helium on you both hands L,N,M,O,P: undefined Q:abandon you R,S,T,U,V: cut off your hands W : rip X: beat the fuck outta you and abandon you Y: splash liquid helium on your hands and abandon you Z: cut off your hands and abandon yo Þ: kill you Æ: send you to hell y: *watching tv* asian parents: NO WATCHING TV, GO STUDY MATH!!!1!!1! why is there a 1500 characters limit??
So a lot of the asian parent definitions are actually really really extreme ones. Asian parents will hit/whip you with chopsticks or belts when you're young but will probably stop when you get into middle school. They definitely hate any mark under a 90 cause you need 90s to get into good universities. they'll sign you up for a lot of extracurriculars when you are young so you'll be ahead of the class, though things like piano class or art class will tend to die down once you get to high school because it's "not important anymore." they will compare you to others which does lower your self esteem but they also have some reasoning inside of them as well. they will let you go out with your friends, they'll let you get a boyfriend if you're in your last few years of high school, and they actually do care and try to empathize with you if you're seriously bawling your eyes out. That's my definition of a moderate asian parent
Asian parents aren't that strict you know.
(Usually, but not always) Strict, nosey, and controlling. They make you go to summer school if you get a B+ in an honors math class, even if you had the best grade out of all the Asians who took that class, and replace your grade all because 'if you get 4.0, you get sit on stage when graduate!'. To Asian parents, summer is not a 'break' as it is to other children in America, but 'a time to catch up'. Summer for Asian kids include SAT/ACT/PSAT prep (whether its doing books or taking classes), summer school, piles of math books, etc. while others are hanging out with friends and making s'mores. Asian Parents control their kids' lives because they want them to get into a good college, so that 1) They can brag to their asian friends about what college you go to <---MAIN REASON 2) You can be a doctor and make lots of money and 3) They can brag about how much money you make as a doctor Asian parents often put on a facade to others that they are nice, normal American parents. Then, when your friends leave (if they ever get the OK to come over), your parents start yelling at you, pressuring you to do math, and/or beating you for something you did that 'embarassed' them (i.e. having a messy room). They also severely disapprove of technology (computers, ipods, tvs). If you get an A- its CLEARLY your ipods fault, so its going to be taken away until you get above a 98. If you watch an hour of TV, they begin yelling at you to stop and give you a lecture about how TV is like crack.
Asian summer: 8am-1:30pm summer school, 1:30pm-3:00pm math, 3:00pm-6:00pm tennis, 6:00pm-10:30pm math, FML Asian parents: "I signed you up for PSAT class!" Me:"...fine..." Asian parents:"Ooo since good deal I signed you up for ACT class too!" Me:"...WHAT?!!!!!!!!!!!! But according to these pretests Ill either get a 35 or a 36!!!" Me:"....I got...a 92%..." Asian mom:"WHAT?! I told you no ipod! NO MORE IPOD till you get 98!!" Me: -watching friends- Asian mom: YOU WATCH TV FOR SO LONG!!!! GO DO MATH!!! Me: But mom I've only been watching for an hour!!! Asian mom: TV like drug!!! Once start can neeveerrrr stop! Addicted then you grades go down! Asian mom: NO TV ON WEEKDAYS....AND 2 HOURS ON WEEKENDS Asian mom: Getting B like cutting your leg off!
People who are characterized by the following items- *Expects their children to always receive straight As on their report cards, tests, projects, quizes, and even questions you if you get an A on your homework assignment. And if you don't get an A, than they'll give you that long-hard-cold-stare and beat ya till you're an inch from death. *Expects you to do the laundry, make dinner, fix a door (actually anything for that matter), and do the things that they're supposed to be doing while they're watching some Asian drama series(no allowance). *Are easily frustrated and calls their children the following names- Useless Trash Worthless Stupid No-Brain Disgrace *If you have even two-inch long hair, they will call it long, and a mess, and they will force you to get either a bowl cut, a buzz cut, or something far worse. *Polos, polos, polos, not just any but the plain-one-colored-pocket-shirt-polos. That's what you're gonna be wearing till you're twenty. *Expects you to be locked up in your room, studying and reading educational reports and documents during the weekend, winter break, spring break, and summer. *Expects ya ta be a doctor or a dentist...I wanted to be a paleontologist... *Are super cheap...so no tips..uses eachother's membership cards just for the discounts provided(funny incident), will not buy new clothes, always goes to the dollar store, and etc. Well that's for all right now-enjoy
*Asian parents(mom) sees you talking with a girl- Mom-you have sex with her??? Me-No...we were just discussing some school... Mom-Oh ok, what was it about? Me-Our algebra homework.... Mom-AHA YOU CHEATA! *bitchslaps* *Asian parents(mom) sees you talking with a black girl- Mom-you want to marry a brack girl??? Me-um, that's racist and n... Mom-*double bitchslaps*
Their logic include: 1) since they gave birth to you, they think can control what you watch on YouTube, Television, etc. 2) since they gave birth to you, they think they can control what you listen to on the radio or any other thing that you can stream music on, such as, Spotify, Pandora. Etc. 3) their logic for grades : A=acceptable B= almost acceptable C= compared, crime D=dead F= you're fucked 4) they control your hair cut Acceptable hair cuts include : Girls: long flowing hair, bob cut, bangs, side bangs, and basically any thing but boy hair cuts. Boys: bowl cut, buzz cut, fowhawk. 5) they feed you and shove food on you, then calls you fat afterwards 6) if you spend more than an hour on any electronic device, you're fucked 7) they won't let you play any sport other than swimming, dancing (any type), badminton, or tennis. Claiming it's too dangerous 8) they compare you to their relative's, friend's, or co-workers' sons or daughters and say you should "follow their example and do better then them so they could brag to their parents"
Asian kid:oh shit, I got a C on this test, my parents are gonna kill me White kid: just switch it with mine, I got an A Asian kid: they're gonna find out, they always find out, They're Asian parents, whatever you do, they'll always find out