A fork of Rural Dictionary
American slang for an unspeakable sex act so vile that Stephen Colbert couldn't define it on TV. It is known to involve moose antlers, maple syrup and the Stanley Cup.
Man, did you see Sally and John get some canadian history last night? I'll bet that beaver has to change its name now.
Canadian History is a sex act so deplorable that it can not be mentioned on T.V. But thanks to the glory of the Internet I can explain it to you here. It was created by two mounties on a frigid December night. They were water boarding a moonshiner in a log cabin trying to get him to confess the location of his distillery. Hours went by and they were getting no where. So they had to think fast. The only supplies they had left in the cabin were an extremely large set of moose antlers a jug of maple syrup and oddly enough the Stanly cup. Quick on there feet they covered the mans member in maple syrup and began violently jerking him off. Right as the man was about to peak sexually they simultaneously smashed his genitals with the Stanley cup and rammed the moose antlers up his ass using the remainder of the maple syrup as lube. The force was so great that the mans prostate exploded so violently that he confessed the distillery's exact location before he even knew what he had done.
Canadian History, cause water boarding is for pussies.
-the act of getting tea bagged
-the act of getting tea bagged by a moose with maple syurp on his nuts.
first guy: That was a crazy night. What happened?
secound guy: Dude you got canadian history (ed)!
first guy: Damn, thats why i taste salty pancakes.
a common practice of aging American homo-sexuals bored with their sex lives, the group assembles together at least five items related to canada. Popular items are hockey sticks, curling brooms and stones, beaver pelts,canadian bacon, maple syrup, a Stanly Cup replica and other canadian memorabilia. The group then sets up a video camara and each member then takes a date rape type drug and commence in an orgy using the canadian items. The following day the video is replayed for all to view, as they cannot remember what had happened. Hence the name Canadian History
Eh, you guys get into a fight last night
Nah, just studied some Canadian History
previously known as the beaver, and recently brought to light by conservative comic Stephen Colbert from a recent trip with our winter olympic team to Canada;
canadian history is a sexual act performed by two mounties, a civilian with the use of a moose, a stanley cup , maple syrup, and a beaver. In this act a mounty preferably a male is sodomized by a the moose while the other one cuddles on the floor with the stanley cup while performing felacio on the civilian who had already trapped the beaver in his anus. This sexual act is all made possible due to the extent use of maple syrup as a form of lubricant.
for example: Talk show host stephen colbert recently gained a wide knowledge of "canadian history" from his recent trip up north this winter.
slogans: canada where a moose can get loose!
where mounties would mount you!
and my favorite
canada, where stephen colbert stuck a beaver in his derriere!
step 1. dump maple syrup on a sleeping mans flaccid venison stick.
step 2 wait about two hours for the maple syrup to crystalize and get hard, eh.
Step 3 Wake up the sleeping canuck with moose porn which don't cha know gives every canadian man a woody faster than any canadian bacon strip ever could
step 4. laugh at the stupid canuck
Canadian History is why wayne gretzky's wang actually looks like a hockey stick
A deliciously nubile vagina. Pure and fresh as the Canadian Rockies and warm and soothing like Harrison Hot Springs....as wet as a Great Lake, yet tight like Welland Canal. Scented like the Hatley Park Rose Gardens, it gives off an intoxicating aroma....with just a hint of maple. Well trimmed golden sheaves remniscent of prarie wheat, truly a splendour to behold. Best to be enjoyed during the summer months.
Hoser A: Let's head down to the pub and see if we can get some Canadian History....
Hoser B: That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard it called......but to hell with it, I do likes the beaver....let's roll....