A fork of Rural Dictionary
The CEO and founder of Aperture Science Innovators. Later renamed Aperture Laboratories. Has and awesome voice (JK Simmons). And is extremely rich. Got sick and died from moon-rock poisoning. Caroline is his best friend and secretary. Hates lemons if life gives them to you.
Alright, I've been thinking. When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade - make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons, what am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager. Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons. Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons. I'm going to to get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down
He's the man who's gonna burn your house down. With the lemons.
DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? I'M THE MAN WHO'S GONNA BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN! WITH THE LEMONS! - Cave Johnson